On bended knee or on Skype, does it really matter?

Happy New Year ladies! Let’s hope 2014 brings us happiness and prosperity and we learn to live for us and be fulfilled.

Happy New Year ladies! Let’s hope 2014 brings us happiness and prosperity and we learn to live for us and be fulfilled.

So before the holidays, there was a lot of hoopla surrounding the engagement of the lovely Kelly Rowland. In the past, those who have followed Kelly since the breakup of Destiny’s Child, have seen her go through some bad relationships and she finally opened up about them on her latest album. It was good to finally see her reveal what happened to her failed engagement, and what we found was a lady that was hurt really bad by her previous fiancé, one she thought she would spend her life with.


Hollywood has created an image of the right way for proposals to go. When Kanye West proposed to Kim Kardashian with an orchestrated band in a baseball stadium in front of her family and friends, a lot of women hated to admit but they all deep down inside wished for such a grand gesture from their significant other. Some women prefer a private ceremony. Movies and books have put in our head that a guy must go all the way into his creative side when asking for his woman to marry him. Sadly, I admit I am one of those women. I don’t expect my significant other to one day rent out Amahoro Stadium and have fireworks and whatever but I want it to be different; something I will always remember and will be happy to tell the story every single time.


So the hoopla surrounding Ms. Rowland’s engagement is because her boyfriend/manager turned fiancé, asked her to marry him over Skype. Yes, over the internet and not in person. Some commentators made remarks along the lines of that was not romantic enough and she kind of settled for it when every woman deserves some grandiose move while others commented about who cared as long as she was happy and the giant ring she was spotted wearing after is clearly a sign of his love.


It’s quite sad that people have reduced the meaning of love and commitment to the size of the ring or how a man proposes. The fact that the couple is happy should be what transcends everything else.

Personally, I have very few rules for the man who is crazy enough to make me his wife one day. All I ask is for him to first ask for my dad’s “permission”, share the news with my family and plan a celebration soon after for me to share the great news with my closest family and friends. I guess in Rwandan culture you cannot exactly flaunt the ring around until after the Gusaba so I guess a little celebration with my immediate family will suffice. 

Do I want a proposal that shows he thought long and hard about making this move? Sure. Will it break my heart if it is not exactly how I envisioned it? Definitely not. Because that is just the start of something lovely and it’s what comes after all that that makes a difference.

So ladies, do you have any must haves for your proposal? For the married ladies, was your proposal everything you ever wished for?

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