The Men Respond: I got a job upcountry but my fiance is against it

I got a place to stay in Kigali. It’s safe, clean and very convenient.  Just last week, I got a job offer from one of the biggest institutions in the country asking me to work with them. The pay is good and they offer a house though it’s not as good as mine.

I got a place to stay in Kigali. It’s safe, clean and very convenient.  Just last week, I got a job offer from one of the biggest institutions in the country asking me to work with them. The pay is good and they offer a house though it’s not as good as mine.

Another thing, it may affect my relationship because my boyfriend is not willing to move yet he claims the place is so far. I don’t know if I should take the job or stay here. I need advice. 

Prossy, 28

Embrace uncertainty 

You sound like you are still young and have your best days ahead of you. You sound like you are in your formative years. 

Now would be a good time to work to accumulate wealth and investments. If you have created a stable and trustworthy network in Kigali, it won’t be a problem if you left to make money and probably more connections.

As for the relationship, whoever you are going out with should be understanding enough to know that you require all the space you can to accumulate as much as you can for a bright future.

So take the job, the money and all that comes with it, it will be a chance for you to learn and make new friends, if your relationship gets sour, not to worry, at least it will not be your fault. You never know what you may come across in your new territory. 

All the best as you meet the uncertain.  

Collins, 26, is married

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Make choices you can live with

Money will always be made but what you have built now won’t be the same should you ever choose to come back to work in Kigali. 

I suggest you stay and establish yourself in Kigali and maybe with time, you will get an equally good job offer within Kigali. 

On the other hand, it all depends on your needs. If you think the tempting salary that comes with the new job could have a significant improvement in your life (it could maybe buy land or build a house) then why not? You can always find a way of integrating and keeping up with the network you created while at the same time benefiting from the new job. 

It’s wise to think of it critically because it could affect your future in many ways but most importantly, do what makes you happy and won’t cause regret.

Patrick, 22, is in stable relationship

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Do not blow it

Don’t blow this chance away! Many people are struggling to get an opportunity like the one you are about to throw away but in vain. I know family and relationships should come first but trust me, having good relationships when you are financially strained will eventually stress you.

This new job offer is not going to last forever so just go ahead and take it. By the time your contract expires you will be able to comfortably stay close to people when you are financially strong.

Besides, we all need some time for the people we care about. Your boyfriend will understand and eventually come around, that is if he truly loves you and wants to be with you. Otherwise I wish you luck and I hope you seize this opportunity with both hands. Some things simply do not come around twice!

Martin, 29, is single

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