I hate people who...

…post pictures of sick people on Facebook and ask us to comment ‘Amen’. Facebook has proved to be the place where the boundaries of stupidity are nonexistent. Take for example the useless fellows in the habit of posting pictures of sick people they do not even know and then asking you to go to the comments area and write ‘Amen’. If this is what civilisation is really about then I am moving back to the caves. Since when did mere comments below a photo translate to instant cure for someone you do not even know? Don’t people have real hobbies anymore? …call out old friends in places that are supposed to be quiet. One of these days you will realise that some of the people you went to school with are actually an empty head. The other day I was in a restaurant sipping on some coffee while waiting for a friend. Then some joker, a former schoolmate walked in and shouted out my name. Everyone turned not to see me but to see how fools really look like. Don’t you hate people who think that any place is a village market? Why shout when you can just walk towards me and we talk. You can even tell the waiter to inform me that you want to talk to me. It does not even cost you an extra penny. …have little respect for personal body space. I know this varies from one culture to another but surely sometimes people just turn out to be annoying when it comes to body space. I am talking about those strange people who think that if they reduce the space between you and themselves then whatever they have to say will be heard and understood faster. The ones who think it is cool to stand so close to you that when they speak you can count the molars in their mouth. It gets worse if this situation includes that tear-jacking body odour that makes you think you are standing next to hot garbage. Please keep your distance, I can hear you loud and clear. …place chewing gum under tables instead of disposing it off properly. One of the worst things you can do in an unguarded moment of boredom is to run your hand under a table or chair. The most likely thing to happen is a moment of disgust as your hand meets with chewing gum that was in someone’s mouth weeks ago. This habit is so annoying that sometimes I think gum should be treated like sodas and beers. Before you are sold more, you should show us where you disposed the last piece of gum. If it is under a table then your teeth should be knocked out immediately. …read this column and then say hate is such a big word. I am sick and tired of people who have no sense of humour or even mere understanding. The kind of people who see this column for the first time and then say they are not comfortable with the word hate. Let us call a spade a spade and not a big spoon. In this world there are some very annoying people who if it was not for the law we would volunteer to beat the living day lights out of them. But since we cannot, we settle for letting out the steam in this column. That should not be a problem really. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293