LooseTalk: The new Knowless

Question: What do the words “Knowless”, and “Primus” have in common? Well, if you are gifted with super musical ears like some of us (and by us, I mean Knowless and I), you will realize that there is a subtle rhyme scheme towards the end of the two words. If you are slow and can’t spot the rhyme yet, here is the trick: just yell “Knowless”, then “Primus”, in rapid succession, and wait to capture the resultant sound. The prolonged and pronounced “S” sound at the end of each word is what constitutes the rhyme scheme, okay? That said, Knowless has always had a way of showing up in this column, unannounced. The last time she appeared here, we were talking about local musicians who have a thing for stage names. In that column, we talked about stage names like Senderi’s “International Hit”, names like Fireman, Bulldog, name it. So why did we give the Nzaba mpari singer a slot, yet we all know she has no stage name? It is the same dilemma I now find myself in as I type this column. Not that I should take the blame for this. On the contrary, it is you, and your blind and unquestioning craving for anything with the word Knowless attached to it, to blame. Today, I had intended this column to be about the super hot and vivacious Contact FM DJ, Makeda. We were supposed to be asking The Mahadeo what on mother earth she is doing smiling down at us from those colorful, life-size billboards that have recently sprung up at major traffic junctions in and around Kigali. We had intended to know from her, what kind of unholy alliance it is she just struck with singer Riderman, with who she happens to pair on the said billboards. As you can see, there was no need for Knowless to get any mention here. In any case, she has had her own reign gracing the bright yellow billboards of a prominent telecom company (if memory serves me right, she is dancing away amidst excited market mamas, cheered on by Mani Martin). But like you should have known by now, Knowless is an attention-seeker who will do everything she can just to get a slice of the showbiz pie. No tell a lie. Knowless is not the problem. Rather it is you, her fans that are so Knowless-obsessed, you will do all within your means to give her some showbiz mileage, to give her credit that is not really due to her. It is the reason you chose to “baptize” that new Primus bottle Knowless, even as billboards all over town suggest that it is Makeda who should be hoarding all the attention. You think that bottle is “as cute as Knowless”? Of course, beauty lies in the eyes of the BEER-holder!