Diaspoman: Transformed by ICT

Transform Africa has really transformed me into a “karaka” seeking person, hunting for ICT-related birakas everywhere. That is why I have been spotted trekking the streets of Kigali with a file under my armpit. 

Transform Africa has really transformed me into a “karaka” seeking person, hunting for ICT-related birakas everywhere. That is why I have been spotted trekking the streets of Kigali with a file under my armpit. 

Even when the sun is shining bright and hot, you will spot me walking in my suit. I walk all day long until the collar of my white shirt turns brown as a result of sweating. For all the offices that I have approached, there has been a glimmer of hope. The only problem is my brown collar. The smell that accompanies such sweat is not helping either. 

 

Anyways, recently, I managed to get a Kiraka to create a computer database and proceed to post archived data for the past 5 years. Naturally, the data for the past 5 years was stashed away in old dusty box files. The dust that accompanied it was simply unbearable. This caused sneezing and coughing. But I had to strive on and start building a C.V from scratch. 

 

On my C.V, I would indicate that my first job in Rwanda was a Database Systems Analyst. The truth of the matter is that I was a simple database clerk on a Kiraka in this powerful organisation. When you are on a Kiraka, your name does not appear anywhere on the monthly payroll. Instead, you receive a limping cheque from the cashier on the last day of the month.

 

Aggrey was so happy for me. At least Diaspoman can now wake up in the morning and head towards an office building! Anyhow, I continued to enjoy my Kiraka until one day things became monkey for me. You see, I always tried to impress my bosses that I was a really hard working fellow.

In order to prove that I was a professional, I had to make sure that I was smartly dressed in a powerful suit and necktie. I would proceed to my corner somewhere and start entering data into the computer. But one day, my boss called me to his office and asked me to work with him in his office. There was something so urgent that he had to submit to the board.

I sat next to him as we tried to work out the report in record time. My boss was a casual guy. That is why he just appeared in office dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of Levis Jean trousers. As we worked at his desk, a group of top class investors from the Asia region entered his office. There is an English saying that “First impressions are the last ones!” T

he investors immediately assumed that I was the real boss since I was dressed in a striking suit. They assumed that my boss was actually a lousy clerk helping me out with my work. Immediately the investors extended their hand to greet me first! I tried to explain that I was not the boss but before I could open my mouth, the investors opened theirs’.

“Sir, can you please tell your clerk to leave us for a few minutes? We have some important issues to discuss with you, Sir.” Then they turned towards my boss who was dressed in a sports tracksuit “Hey, don’t you speak the English Language? Please vamoose from here because your boss has some serious issues to discuss with us.”

As for me, I was fast becoming crestfallen. This was total embarrassment. To make matters worse, my boss complied! He picked up his keys and walked out majestically. As I frantically tried to explain the situation, the investors had started their PowerPoint presentation. I just sat back and absorbed all. 

I have not yet seen my boss since this incident took place. I have a feeling that he will sack me due to impersonation, insubordination and usurping his power from under his feet. I pray that this incident has not transformed my boss from a friendly dude to a hostile person…

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