Let’s face it guys, parenthood? It’s really not that glamorous. I mean yes, there are the highs and lows... and the highs are really high but when you are faced with a low, it just knocks you out. Then there’s the issue of all those things you discover on the parenting journey.
But sometimes, especially when I have just discovered another parenting horror, I really wish someone had had the presence of mind to talk about it, warn me about it, anything. Honestly any insight into parenting horrors is appreciated and I am sure I am not the only parent who would appreciate it.
I am well aware that this is the month of Thanksgiving and the festive season is well and truly here. But to all my readers, please allow me to rant a little and get the frustration out of my system and I promise to keep a festive or practical tone the rest of the month.
Parenting for me has always been an awesome experience. Kisses and cuddles with baby-bum softness. When the “horrors” come along, they are also mind-blowing, leave-your-mouth-gaping, why-did-no-one-tell-me awesome! Why does everyone think to advise you on how to hold the baby, burp him, treat scratches and scrapes, disciplining the wayward teenager, etc and then when it comes to the real challenges it is always a blank slate?
No one tells you about those horrible afterbirth pains that seem to squeeze the life out of your already sore womb; or the bleeding nipples when you still have to breast feed; the sleepless nights trying to calm a teething toddler alternating between pained screams and trying to bite you, and just when you think your baby is growing up some fool comes along to break your precious child’s heart.
No matter how vivid the memory of your own first heartbreak is you just cannot seem to find the right words to make it all better. Perhaps it is a pain we all need to go through the same way it is when a child has to be reprimanded... but that doesn’t matter, this child is your child and you just have to make their pain stop.
So again I ask, why does no one, at least in my family circles or in those of my friends, why does no aunt, uncle, older sibling, cousin, ever warn or advise on how to handle the really tough challenging moments?
Truth be told, I think natural instinct takes over so I do not need anyone to teach me how to carry my baby; I know enough to wash and keep a scraped knee clean - so please tell me how I might give first aid for a green-stick fracture to the leg; teach me how to read a thermometer so I don’t panic needlessly; give me advice on how to deal with the bully targeting my child without turning into a bully myself.
Most of all teach me how to accept my children’s pains as a needful process that doesn’t have to leave my heart aching. Teach me to be thankful even for the horrific moments.
Come Thanksgiving Day, I want to say “Thank you Lord for making my parenting moments that much lighter and less ‘awesome’ [read awful!]