Bring the hose, someone didn’t take a shower!

I think some people are taking the whole stress of paying water bills a little too seriously. They have found new ways to economize on water and its simple really – dodge bathing!It’s either that or they have a deathly allergic reaction to water because it is not funny just how bad some chaps stink. You’d think that in this day and age where basins and buckets are seldom used, people would actually look forward to a shower – but no – even standing under it while the water does the work is apparently too much to ask. I consider myself a decent friend – in fact – because of my capability to be brutally honest sometimes, I might just be the most wonderful friend ever. But when it comes to this one individual, considering I only bump into the guy from time to time, I am not qualified to apply my ‘friendship skills’ on him lest he rearranges my face. So what do I do? I suffer in absolute silence and curse his so-called friends, if there are any!The first time I met him, being the friendly people Rwandans are, he felt it best to give me a hug. Naturally that wouldn’t have bothered me but the foul smelling fumes that shot up my poor nostrils almost made me pass out. I quickly scanned around for terrorists, convinced we had been hit by a stink bomb! When I realised the stench was only around us, I almost sobbed when he pulled up a chair to join!I don’t know what shocked me the most; the fact that he smelled that bad, or that he made the effort to dress well even with that smell following him around. This was not an ordinary ‘you-sweated-a-little-too-much’ smell…it was downright offensive! And what did my putrid friend do next? He proceeded to take over the conversation, shouting at the top of his voice and munching away at peanuts in a manner so uncouth I literally felt the urge to throw up. Perhaps we would have forgiven him for the smell had he not been so arrogant and idiotic. The man argued about things he had no clue about whatsoever and insisted on slapping my back every time he thought he had made a point! After one hour of feeling like I had been trapped in a septic tank, I begged to be excused and inhaled as much fresh air as I could the second I was a considerable distance away from him. If you are ever in need of a torture method, look no further. Personally, if we were put in a room together with no ventilation, I’d confess to sinking the Titanic just to get out!