‘Friends with benefits’ turns deadly

I always knew this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing was a bad idea. I’ve tried to make it clear just how bad it can get but do people listen to me? No! So what else can I do? Sit back and enjoy the drama!
Cartoon
Cartoon

I always knew this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing was a bad idea. I’ve tried to make it clear just how bad it can get but do people listen to me? No! So what else can I do? Sit back and enjoy the drama!

Last week, I was treated to some free entertainment when two pals (who nobody knew were ‘doing it’) unleashed their ‘dirty laundry’ for whoever cared to listen.  It started when the guy showed up with another chick firmly glued to his hand. His ‘friend’ went on as always, not once indicating that the sight of the two lovebirds was killing her.

But trust alcohol to betray you. Every emotion, every bitter comment she had tried so desperately to keep to herself eventually surfaced.  I don’t know what amused me more; the manner in which this chick spat out vicious words or the look on the new girl’s face who clearly had no clue what was going on.

“You have some nerve bringing that chick to this place,” she said.

He made a tragic attempt at humour and said, “I wasn’t aware this place was only meant for certain people.”

“Don’t be stupid. You know what I mean,” she added.

The other girl’s attempt to calm the situation unleashed demons we had never seen before.

“Who told you that you have the right to say anything, you b%*@#,” said our now seriously angered friend. Out of fear of what was likely to ensue, I sneakily started putting away fragile and sharp objects. She shot me an angry look. I immediately stayed put! The guy was now just as furious. He insisted that their first time was merely a moment of weakness on his part, but (and these were his exact words) they talked about it and agreed to go on misbehaving but with no strings attached. Crazy, I know!

This chick clearly didn’t like what she was hearing and swung the table over, breaking everything I had tried so desperately to put away. The new girl, scared out of her mind, quickly leaped from her chair and was behind the guy in record time. Our dear friend yelled that even though she had agreed to being friends with benefits, she was not one of those chicks you sleep with and only talk to the next time you want to get laid! She insisted that had he not insulted her by parading another chick around her, things would’ve been okay.  Question. Where’s the fun in friends with benefits if you can’t see other people?

After traumatizing us all, she grabbed her bag, apologised for the mess, turned to the guy and said, “The next time you pull such a stunt, the chick with you will be having your severed balls for breakfast!” And off she went. I’m guessing he now evades her like the plague!

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