Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder

If drinking was a crime, I would report the injustice this unnecessary evil has committed against me over the years, especially when it comes to admiring the most unattractive men after a few drinks. No wonder a few of my ex-boyfriends keep up with the major break-up words, “I am sorry I might have been drunk the whole relationship, or at least when we met.”
Lilliane Nakayima
Lilliane Nakayima

If drinking was a crime, I would report the injustice this unnecessary evil has committed against me over the years, especially when it comes to admiring the most unattractive men after a few drinks. No wonder a few of my ex-boyfriends keep up with the major break-up words, “I am sorry I might have been drunk the whole relationship, or at least when we met.”

For long, I thought liquor singled me out until recently at a house party. An arguably charming man succeeded in giving his admirers the wrong impression. He was casually but excellently dressed, tall, chocolate coloured, and finely shaped. He stood out from the other dudes at the party.

Like the rest of the ladies, I trampled on my pride to find him where he sat, just to say hello, mention my name and show him I was interested in him, if the chance arose. Meanwhile, he didn’t look like he was into mingling with any chicks.  He sipped on strong liquor with the boys and gave tales about his ideal woman.

He danced alone and sat when slow numbers played. Hardly had he put his “not in the mood for females” point across, than alcohol messed up his great image.

He walked across to one chick, introduced himself with a handshake and told her she was the most beautiful girl at the party! It took her seconds to jubilate – her celebration was rudely interrupted by the very guy walking up to another girl and complimenting her the exact same way.

Some he called charming, well carved, beautifully toned… but none passed for repulsive.   Within no time, he had kissed some girls and insulted a few. He pinched their bottoms every time they walked past him. While others wondered what had gone wrong, I clearly knew it was all because of the drinks. On several occasions, I have complimented random guys just because that’s what I see through the glass.

I could have been beaten up for lying to this dude about his dancing stunts. He hoped around like an antelope throughout the evening. But alcohol made me believe that he was the perfect dancer.

I am currently doing research on alcoholic partners… will get back to you with the findings. As of now, some of us will drink our way to beauty. It might take a few bar tours to get drunken dudes to see us for who we are not, but at least the compliments will flow.

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