Diaspoman: Once bitten, twice shy

A few weeks ago, I narrated to you how I faced the real world when I visited a neighboring country. I told you how I change my lifestyle whenever I visit a neighboring country because nobody knows me.

A few weeks ago, I narrated to you how I faced the real world when I visited a neighboring country. I told you how I change my lifestyle whenever I visit a neighboring country because nobody knows me. So, that is why I become free and visit cheap pubs and restaurants whenever I am abroad.

In Kigali, where I have many friends, I have to keep up appearances and that’s how I end up visiting a hair salon which costs me 2k plus 1k for tips. Now, in this neighboring country, I just walked majestically into this makeshift hair salon where the cost was like 10% of the cost I pay in Kigali. 

 

So as I narrated to you a few weeks ago, I instructed the barbers to finish off my hair, “Jordan” style. You may recall that after ten minutes only, my head was a proud owner of two different landscapes. On the right side of the head was a landscape full of untidy vegetation. On the left side was what you may want to call an Airport.

 

You may want to refer to it as a television screen or indeed as the famous Sahara desert. This is because the barber had cleared off my left side first, before attending to the other side. He was, however unable to continue because the EWSA of this neighboring country had decided to disconnect power.

 

Upon realizing what had happened, I acted very fast. I dipped my hand in my pocket, pulled out some cash and instructed one of the barbers to dash over to the petrol station for fuel to be used in the Generator. The barbers just looked at me before roaring out a prolonged laughter!

The Generator was just there as a decoration. It had last performed its duties many years ago. When I insisted that the Generator could function, the boys decided to prove to me that I was wrong. So, they shook and pulled the lever but all in vain. Instead of coming to life, the generator spluttered, coughed, sneezed and at some point started to dance in circles. 

We tried all possible tricks but to no effect at all. That is when I realized that I was doomed. I was going to leave this saloon resembling a mad man. My solution had to be in form of a hat. The barbers apologized and arranged to borrow a hat for me. They also asked me to “cut” a deal with them. Since they had slashed off half of my hair, I should pay them half the total cost. So I paid them and promised to return the following day for job completion.

A promise is a date. So in the morning, I prepared myself to rush back to the joint to have my second part of the hair dealt with. I put on my borrowed hat and headed for the taxi stage. Here, I boarded a moto and instructed him to fly as fast as possible to the infamous saloon. Apparently, I had not learnt my lesson. Cheap things will always turn expensive in the long run. And this was going to happen to me again in a space of two days!

With the moto flying high through the narrow and congested streets of the city, the winds came down with such venom. In a split second, the hat was swept off my funny head. In haste, I jumped off the speeding bike and chased after the hat.

For the rest of the public, this was yet another free Video show. They were convinced they were looking at yet another deranged person on the streets. That is why these bystanders stood aside and cheered me on as I threatened to break the Usain Bolt Olympics 100-meter hurdle record.  

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