So you know how you go to a supermarket and buy a pack of condoms thinking people will applaud you for it but instead they widen their eyes in utter horror and look at you as if you are some kind of delinquent? Yeah, that’s really starting to piss me off!
I used to think it was bad buying sanitary pads (by the way Mother Nature, I’m still waiting on that upgrade we talked about. You know… the text at the end of the month that says “congs you are not pregnant” instead of the old fashioned system?).
The first time my friend tried to buy condoms as an assignment, people looked at her so thoroughly, if I hadn’t been with her the whole time, I would have sworn she had shoplifted something. Even the cashier fumbled a bit when she was handed the merchandise, like she had been given a poisonous reptile. Now let me just make it clear that both times I dared to buy the unthinkable were merely a result of curiosity. When it comes to buying condoms, you need to either sport one of them curtains those chicks in Saudi Arabia wear or simply feign madness, grab them from the shelf and run! Doing it the right way has never attracted good results, trust me!
Last week, as I strolled through a supermarket in Kisementi, I decided to entertain myself. I picked a pack of condoms from the shelf, and very smoothly, went ahead to examine it, as if reading what is on the box. Since the condoms were right up front, those in line had a clear view. When I looked up, two women had already begun whispering to each other, and the beauty about it is that one of them was pregnant! I was saddened by the fact that they spoke French because I would have loved to fling a few words at the knocked up one, considering she wasn’t even wearing a ring. I am trying to be responsible and there she is looking at me like I am buying abortion tools? How now?
Some fool at my local store was so embarrassed to ask the sales girl for them, he started whispering to her from across the counter. Because my ears are attracted to whispers, I overheard him tell the chick to get them sneakily, put them in a paper bag and hand them over. It would have gone well had the girl not tripped when getting them. The three packets of Plaisir were comfortably spread on the counter top with the man looking like he was ready to jump into any hole that presented itself. People, let’s not mistake being responsible for being slutty. It makes no sense at all running around with a one night stand growing in your belly because you couldn’t be caught dead buying condoms! Don’t be strange!