Relationship, sex lessons: When ‘kiss and tell’ can save your life

We learn the hard way, they say, but let’s make things simpler here. Misery is the best friend of those who put in too much effort to their life. They take life so serious that it stresses them down and they never ever understand what life really is. Here, we break things down a bit.

We learn the hard way, they say, but let’s make things simpler here. Misery is the best friend of those who put in too much effort to their life. They take life so serious that it stresses them down and they never ever understand what life really is. Here, we break things down a bit.

Rapist learns victim is HIV-positive

A Greater Manchester man, Richard Thomas, is all blue, bleak and frightened after learning that he could face double punishment for raping a woman. A Liverpool court had already sentenced Thomas to five years in jail, and while he is remorseful, saying he does not understand how he ended up in the crime, it emerged jail might not be his only punished; the victim is living positive with HIV/Aids and Thomas went at it ‘live’. He awaits results of an HIV test to find out if he was infected in the act.

Lesson:

What is there to learn anyway? If you really were expecting any lessons to glean from Thomas’ experience, then I am as disappointed in you as I am in world leaders for watching as a purge goes on in Syria like they did with Rwanda in 1994. But even in the worst possible circumstances, there are lessons to learn. Don’t go about banging things whose sero status you don’t know without the services and attention of Mr Condom, just because the chic has granted you her PIN number.

Talking of condoms, the interesting news from across the border is that the United States Agency for International Development has donated 24,000 pink condoms to Ugandan Parliament for legislators to turn to whenever need be. See? If MPs are using condoms, who are you to just go around knocking things ‘live’ as if your childhood heroes—cocks and how they do it fast and recklessly—still linger in your brain?

Of course, I don’t need you that rape is evil. Thomas surely knows that now. And, above all, stay clear of drugs. This chap was doing lots of drugs the day of the evening he broke into the HIV-positive woman’s home.

Yes, go on; kiss and tell

Like Thomas, my Kacyiru neighbour is counting his luck. Just when he thought he had dated this Kimihurura chic long enough and should up the ante with those bed things, his friend comes sprouting like bean seedlings in the rainy season.

The friend told my neighbour that he had finished it up with Marie. He gave graphic description of his deeds. Of course, my neighbour knows his friend is on ARVs, and in even though this guy did not say he had used the rubber, only someone with a death wish would still have an appetite for Marie after learning what the HIV-positive guy had done with her. See related story below.

Lesson:

It’s just explicit here. Stop listening to all those guys shouting in your face that don’t kiss and tell. Every passing day, a million people are saved from contracting the deadly virus because someone kissed and told, then things leaked from A to B, finding its way to a would-be-victim at the Y or even Z end of the table. Yes, behind every evil, there is some sheds of good.

‘I love you’

Among the things love doctors drum into us is that we should make opportunity to say ‘I love you’ as often as we eat. My word: refuse to play to the gallery. There is nothing in that so-called magical phrase. It’s all hype. If you are ever pampered by those three words, then you really have a problem up there. You are not much different than the UN that pulls Congolese from the peace talks in Kampala and persuade them to go on a frontal engagement, yet the same body claims to advocate for world peace. ‘I love you is a phrase that has lost meaning. Many of those who use it are just covering up for one or two shortcomings in their relationship. True lovers will not throw such words everywhere. Did you know that the best place to hear that phrase are in red light districts? Prostitutes call men who pass-by ‘honey’, ‘sweetie’ and such things. Don’t sound like them.

Lesson:

Love is in what you do, not what you say. The tongue is a tool of deception, but your deeds can fill a void. Show love, don’t speak it. You can satisfy your partner with the dinner, not with that phrase. Go now, take your Leoncie out, buy her a fancy gift and just look into her eyes with a smile without uttering a singly syllable. You will be much better than that guy who returns home, throws his torn socks here and there and says, “Hun, I luv you.” Then heads to his tablet to chat virtual girlfriends.

Subscribe to The New Times E-Paper


You want to chat directly with us? Send us a message on WhatsApp at +250 788 310 999    

 

Follow The New Times on Google News