And God said, “Here’s the deal Eve. As you have so offended me you shall have to figure out how to balance your marriage, your children, your friends and your life. It will not be easy so you shall have to multi-task....”
And that’s how come all mothers are working moms, or should be. A few lucky ones get to be full-time work-at-home moms. Mothering is a full-time job and those of us in employment are really holding down two jobs.
And nothing feels better than going home to a contented, well-loved child who clearly appreciates the precious moments you can spend together.
I came across a quote that said, “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
Unfortunately the birth of a child doesn’t always mean a mother will be born. The mother may be born much later or even never! As a working mom myself, I resent it when people refuse to understand that being a mom is a lot more than just having a baby to give your name.
Childbearing does not necessarily make you a mother! There are some out there who trivialise the gift of parenthood and have it smeared with the selfishness that is their own gratification and reduce it to mere tick-boxing.
Their To Do list reads very much like:
1. New Car √
2. Wedding dress √
3. Big Wedding √
4. Big house √
5. Kids √
6. Big Boutique √, etc
I am sure you all get the picture and perhaps you know one of those too.
These “tick-boxers” spend three days a week fixing their hair, getting their nails done and so on, which is all well and good. But what really gets my goat is the way they complain to the vexed working mom, “I just don’t know how you do it. I mean, for me, it’s just hard to imagine leaving the kids all day and not checking on them in the lunch hour. You should get a car”!
Wow, the hypocrisy and insensitivity! This is the same woman who only two days ago exclaimed how she hasn’t seen her twin toddlers in two days because she was too tired when she got home.
Madam, no matter how late my working day runs, if I live with my children, something I have learned not to take for granted, I shall at least check on them while they sleep before I retire to bed. I shall endeavour to say a one line prayer for them each day and I shall remember to check that they are fed. I deserve no credit for that which is my duty as a mother!
Away from the rant, apologies to the genuinely hard-working moms out there who are as pained as I am when they have to get up early to steal a few breakfast moments with the children before dashing off to work. Or those who work late nights and miss tucking their little ones into bed. My heart still goes out to those who have to leave their little ones for days, weeks or even months to earn a living. I celebrate and applaud you.
In fact being a mom is more than just taking care of a child or children. It is building a home. It is the sharing of yourself with someone ALL THE TIME. It is planning for the family and anticipating future needs. It is being a teacher. It is being an example, a sounding board, a provider of food, comfort, security, love, balance and all round nurturing. And all of this is not just for the child/children but for your partner as well as the family unit as a whole.
It is ensuring harmony and synchronising all elements of your life, fine tuning the art of balancing responsibility and making the time to have a life sprinkled with love and joy.
Yes, you have to work at it but this is what makes a house a home. This is what turns your ‘housemates’ into family. So whoever said a woman must be a homemaker too got it right in my humble opinion!