I recently watched the seriously hyped Think Like A Man movie based on Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady, Think A Man. Whereas I haven’t read the book (which I’m dying to), the movie focuses on the relationships women find themselves in.
The book describes for women Harvey’s concept of what men really think about love, relationships, intimacy and commitment. It teaches women –very quickly – that expecting a man to respond to them the way a woman would is never going to work. Sorry ladies!
It says that a clear-eyed, knowing approach to dealing with men on their terms, on their turf, in their way, can in turn get women exactly what they want. He asserts that men are “simple”, and that women should understand that being the first in a man’s life means understanding and accepting that men are driven by who they are, what they do and how much they make.
In the movie, women are obsessed with the book save for one who in her own words ‘doesn’t need to lower her standards to get a man’ when told some men are intimidated by powerful women. The men, however, called Harvey a traitor.
Of the men talked about, I was most interested in the non-committer and the player. The non-committer is the one who will date you for years but for some reason will not propose to you. So, how do you get him to put a ring on it?
When it comes to women in a serious relationship, according to Harvey, ‘it’s just plain dumb to let a man lock you into a monogamous premarital relationship, where you share a bed, bills, or even kids. The only way to convert your “committed relationship” into a marriage is to insist on setting a date for the wedding.’
According to Harvey, if you’ve been with your man for a considerable period and he still hasn’t proposed, then you haven’t required him to. ‘Requiring’ him to marry you means you have to show every intent on becoming his wife and if that means refurnishing your shared apartment to your taste or asking him to apply for a job you think is better than what he’s doing, then so be it!
The player –well, I think we all know what that one is about – the one who always looks for sex but no relationship. Steve tells women to insist on the 90-day rule, which means not giving away ‘the goodies’ until 90 days have passed!
It sounds somewhat ridiculous but if you have been landing these ‘runners’ on a constant it might just be the most sensible thing you’ve ever done. What do you have to lose anyway? It’s way better than jumping into bed with them the second they compliment your eyes then watch them head for the door faster than you can say “call me” after the moment’s over.
That said, to land a guy, apparently you must think like one (that’s a scary thought). You must make it easier for him to want to be with you. Sexist and unfair as it sounds, it might just be the only solution –depending on how bad you want it!