I am engaged to be married to a young beautiful and intelligent lady. A few months ago, I realized my love for my fiancée was not strong enough for me to share my life with her. This happened after I met her sister who lives outside the country. While my fiancée is cold and very demanding, her sister is just her opposite.
She is very polite and sensitive to people around her. I am in a dilemma, for I do not know how to break off this relationship and tell my fiancée that I am in love with her sister.
It so happens that when we meet and fall in love, we do not sit back to scrutinize how the one we love behaves. These are things you come to learn as things are rolling; and even when you do notice some unlikely things about your loved one, you close your eyes wishing them away.
You are claiming your fiancée is cold and insensitive, I guess these character traits did not spring out of nowhere, you must have noticed these traits when you started dating, why change of heart now? And have you tried talking to her? I can guarantee you there is no perfect person out there.
We all have a choice, especially in a matter as important as marriage. But you have to take things slow here. Many a times, when we are in relationships, we come across other people whom we think are super perfect and toy with the idea of breaking off your relationship and run with the stranger. We end up breaking off our relationships and starting a new one with this person, only for you to find, there is no such things as a perfect person.
Each one of us is created differently. When we meet that one person and experience the butterflies every time we see them, then we know for sure that we are in love. Remember that falling in love, is part of an agreement with ourselves to love the other person unconditionally despite their shortcomings. And who in this world is perfect – pray – maybe a saint.
The best thing I can think of right now is this; do not to just break off your engagement, but to sit down with your fiancée and talk over everything that you feel is not right. You have to let her know that her attitude is a total put off , and this might cost her the relationship. You might not change her overnight into what you what you want her to be-but if she is a woman who knows what is best for her; she will struggle to change for the better and for her own good.
In the meantime, stop fantasizing about your sister- in-law. You want to behave like a dog on heat? Think about what leaving your fiancée for her sister will do to your reputation and that of your family. What happen when a third sister appears from somewhere and she seems to be better than the second one?
I will tell you something; when you choose to love someone, you love them despite their flaws. Otherwise not any single person in this world would be in a relationship. You just don’t know how much people are putting up with every day in their relationships and marriages.
Step by step, you can guide your fiancée to be better person and the rest will fall into place. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush my friend!