Auntie’s corner

I am a young lady engaged to be married. I have been with my fiancée for two years now. He is a very kind person, and I feel lucky. Now this man has all the good qualities, but has one thing that is a put off. 

I am a young lady engaged to be married. I have been with my fiancée for two years now. He is a very kind person, and I feel lucky. Now this man has all the good qualities, but has one thing that is a put off. 

My fiancée is a drunkard.  When he starts drinking he never stops. I have many times picked him from bars when he cannot even walk and take himself to his house. I love this man very much, but I am beginning to question his drinking habits, and if I will be able to put up with him when we get married.

Di

Dear Di,

Drunkenness is a disease my dear, and you better seek help for your fiancée; otherwise this man is sinking towards the end of life.

There are a few questions that you ought to ask yourself before walking down the aisle.

Is this the type of a person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Remember that his habit will not stop even after marriage.

Those days of saying that love is blind are long gone, love has eyes nowadays you cannot walk into this marriage blindly when you know very well that you will spend the rest of your life hoping from one bar to the other picking up your man in stupor – can you envision this can kind of life for you and your children? And I mean the rest of your life.

You must, and I insist you must help this man become sober-before you walk down the aisle. No love is worth spending your whole life in misery. What will be there to enjoy anyway when this man is always drunk? No love is worth troubling your entire life for my dear- there are too many good things out here, and I will be saddened if you chose to live your life in misery.

There are problems that do not need a genius to solve; first things first.

Sit down with this man and have a tete-a-tete talk. He either stops his drinking or you walk out on him. It might be difficult to get him to be sober, but make him understand it has to start with him, no two ways about it.

If you have the slightest feeling that he is not willing to be helped, I say good riddance- get out of the relationship very fast without looking behind.

You see my dear; some people might call you names or even say that you are cruel when you leave him. But again who said life is fair? Why you sacrifice your entire life, just because you empathize with someone who has decided to shoot himself in the head?

In life it’s all about give and take. Unlike animals, we have been given the power to choose between good and bad. And if I may ask, why choose bad when there is good? Just try to envision your life with this man and tell me if you see a bright future. If you see nothing of the sort- then there is only one thing- say your bye and wish him well.

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