Tips for your first date

Right now, most of you have already concluded that I am some sort of a date doctor (if I may call it that). Truth is, I have been to a few dates, heard about a number of dates including those that ended without any scene and those that turned out to be disasters. I’ve learnt overtime that there are certain things that must be done. These are very crucial for any first dates most especially for people with the motive to create a promising long-term relationship. So, how can you make sure that your first date is the best it can be (even if it turns out to be your only date together)? Here are some suggestions on what to do and what not to do. 5 Things to do: 1. Chose the venue carefully If you are doing the choosing, pick somewhere that you know your date will like. A drink in a quiet bar, a quick supper or lunch in a little place you know are great ideas. The advantage of keeping the first date short and simple is that if you realize you don’t like each other, you’ll all part ways without any embarrassment. 2. Make an effortDo put your best foot forward. Make an effort with your appearance - but not so much of an effort that your date wouldn’t recognize you if they bumped into you on the street the following day. 3. Be kind Whether you are attracted to the person or not – be kind. It doesn’t cost you anything, and it will make a big difference to the other person’s enjoyment of the date. 4. Leave your emotional baggage at homeIf you have a list of problems bothering you, be it at work, home or a colleague disappointed you, keep it to yourself on your first date. A first date, like a first interview, is the time to emphasise your best points not to draw attention to your weaknesses. 5. Be yourselfLet the other person see the real you. A first date is not the time to try out being the person you’d like to be, or the person you think your date would like you to be. After all, you don’t want them falling in love with a false version of you. 5 Things not to do: 1. Don’t dominate the conversationIf you do all the talking – especially about yourself – it will give the impression that you aren’t interested in your date. The other person will feel flattered and special if you take the time to listen to them, ask them questions that draw them out. 2. Don’t forget your mannersBad manners aren’t attractive and are likely to irritate your date. Make sure you turn up on time and if you are going to be late for any reason, let them know. Turn off your phone (or put it on silent if you are expecting an urgent call) and remember to say “thank you” if the other person is footing the bill. 3. Don’t pretend to be anything you are notIn an attempt to impress, it can be tempting to exaggerate, dress up the truth or lie. You may get away with that if you don’t see them again after the first date but if the relationship does last any longer, you may find yourself in a tricky situation later down the line. 4. Don’t make an instant judgmentMany of us make up our minds as to whether we like someone in the first few seconds or minutes of meeting. But our first impressions can be misleading. Try not to rule people out straight away. 5. Don’t rush thingsTake time to get to know the other person before getting too emotionally or physically involved with them. Sex is a powerful bonder and if you sleep together on the first date it may blind you to any fundamental problems between you. bryok14@yahoo.com