Dishonesty in relationships is known to be rife, for a myriad of reasons. That aside, lie detection is a necessary survival skill in all facets of our lives, because, quite unfortunately, there are those who think that lying is a survival skill. Well, it’s not.
The truth always ends up coming out, and then on top of whatever mistake you have made, you have destroyed trust. At best, it is a tactic for stalling the inevitable.
There are two very basic ways, besides the use of scientific tools, of detecting a dishonest partner in a relationship.
According to Lying Detection, an online article by Jessica Laney, the first way is detection by observing bodily movements and the second is by looking out for behavioral changes.
In all this, a key factor one should always consider is each individual’s character differences.
“There are people who naturally look honest and others who just don’t. For instance, socially nervous people tend to look as though they’re lying when actually they are not,” quotes Jessica Laney
Therefore, the best way to spot false hoods is by comparing their reactions to times when they are making obvious truthful statements.
Beginning with bodily movements, People tend to shift positions or become stiff and stand very still when they’re lying. Fidgeting such as scratching, itching or shrugging shoulders, is also common.
Avoidance of Eye Contact is another way to sense a liar. I know of a guy who quickly shifts and returns his eye contact when he is about to make heavily assumptive statements as facts. It did not take me long to figure him out.
Changes in ones vocal inflections are other common signs of lying “For a liar, their voice pitch has been known to go higher and they may also begin to talk faster and pause in between statements or stutter,” Writes Jessica Laney.
As regards clues on behavioural changes, Martine Uwera a 24 year-old student has learnt to guard herself against deceptive guys.
“When your guy sends you a text message saying he can’t make it for a date and doesn’t want to explain himself, you just know there is something fishy going on.” She adds, “And if this habit goes on and it’s coupled with frequent lateness for engagements, just know his priorities have shifted and the best thing is to confront him.”
Justus Ngarambe a 31 year-old married man, has learnt that when his spouse suddenly becomes secretive and answers his questions with questions other than answers, something has surely gone wrong.
Questions like, “ Why do you want to know?” help Ngarambe know that she is subconsciously hiding something from him.
He says that he then begins becoming keener or simply plans a confrontation in order to get answers.
Other changes you need to be suspicious of are sudden and unexplained holiday gifts. They may be to cover up a guilty conscious.
Finally and very importantly, trust your gut feeling. Instinct is an unconscious process that tells you when things don’t feel right and can be more effective than direct thought.
However, be advised that before you apply the following advice, it is recommended that you have ready and appropriate action steps that you intend to take in order to deal with a lying partner.