It all starts with an impulse that someone can’t stay away from their phone for long. Each notification just excites them to log in instantly with an eagerness to see and know what’s happening. When online, friends and strangers start conversations and before one knows it, the day is done. The same routine happens the following day, and the day after that. With time, it invokes a habit. Social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, and Snapchat have eased networking and communication, however if not controlled, they can turn addictive. Take Peter Mutabazi for example. He recalls being addicted to his phone a few years ago. He was in a long-distance relationship and he would use any media platform possible to chat with the love of his life because communication was key to keep their relationship working. But apart from the usual incessant communication, he always checked out his lover’s Facebook and Instagram posts, just to be sure of what she posted. His life sucked. It was a mess! He was distracted at work. Always keen to read a message from her. A WhatsApp user checks through her chats to respond to new messages during a work break. In the evening hours where he was supposed to take some rest after work and a long fidgety day, he embarked on video chatting with the girlfriend, either on Viber or WhatsApp. This he says lasted for hours, every single day. Mutabazi hardly got any sleep yet he had to be in office by 7:00 am. With time, he felt so isolated from people. It became a bit strenuous for him, logging in to change Facebook statuses, showing that life seemed fun. Yet in real life, it was actually full of misery and depression. To him, social media is a trap. It gives a platform to people to pretend to be who they are not, just to win followers, or even prove a point. This he says is the reason as to why some people have lost self-esteem, as they try so hard to compare themselves to others. Little do they know that social media allows one to pretend to be who they wish to be to the public. How was he supposed to make life fun, without the internet? Mutabazi thought to himself. He joined a Rotary club, where they fellowshipped once a week. He became part of one of his church’s cell groups and was inspired by a friend to start reading novels. This kept him away from his phone for some time. However, it left his relationship a bit shaky as he cut some time off social media. A question to meditate upon, how often do you use social media on a daily? “It is important to clarify that addiction is a natural phenomenon that comes from being in touch with something and repeatedly see, feel and seek to use more. Its manifestation can be in games, movies, alcohol, sex, and smoking and for the app generation, it is the extreme attachment to social media in our continuously digital world,” says Damien Mouzoun, a family counsellor in Kimironko. He notes the causes for social media addiction may take us back to the days when there was no mirror to reflect one’s image and people still used the lake or any surface of limpid water to reveal their own beauty. The family counsellor further explains that when students have no other way to occupy themselves in their nowadays “lonely world” of absent parents and may lack some parental positive influence or inspiration toward reading books, developing grit, than the screens in front of them, it is obvious that they can easily end up addicted to the dominant online community for exposure and emotional support. He says that our lives are simply a manifestation of seeking what we see and seeing what we seek at the same time. Children are obviously tempted to have the life of their peers and may put pressure on their parents to get them the electronic gadgets other school mates have. But once they get the smartphone or the computer with internet access, another type of living begins that often leads to addiction, he adds. Mouzoun edifies that it is important for parents, students and the community at large to realise that owning a smartphone does not necessarily make a person smart, but using it wisely does. He emphasised that he highly doubts that we can stop the digital age at this point, an option that may lead to some kind of alienation. What we need to do as we commit ourselves to help families live a fruitful and fulfilled life, is to teach students the correct life principles including helping them to find their true focus for they will guide themselves. “When we get to the level where we need to do social media detoxification, I think it is because we may have missed something important in the parenting process and must accept it and work toward changing it because people are also subject to change and transformation if they are ready to pay the due price toward the result,” he states. The negative effect Recent research shows that social media addiction can be viewed as one form of internet addiction, where individuals exhibit a compulsion to use social media to excess. Individuals with social media addiction are often overly concerned about social media and are driven by an uncontrollable urge to log on to and use social media. Some studies have shown that the symptoms of social media addiction can be manifested in mood, cognition, physical and emotional reactions, and interpersonal and psychological problems. It has been reported that social media addiction affects approximately 12 percent of users across social networking sites. Why social media detox is necessary A social media detox is a sentient eradication of social media use and consumption for a set period of time. It can be for a week, a month or any period a person prefers. Nicolas Nkurunziza, an ICT specialist based in Kigali notes that social media detoxification gives one a chance to clear their mind from online junk. He says staying away from social media enables one to use their time for some other activities that are more rewarding, that’s if there is some sort of discipline inculcated to self. “How much more can friendships be meaningful without perturbing to checking phone notifications, rushing to respond to messages or keeping an eye on the phones? But rather, just having expressive, friendship conversations,” Nkurunziza explains. “Discuss about life and crafting ideas that matter, for instance discussing education, starting up businesses, applying for a new job, starting a family, and so forth. Great conversations emerge when phones are put aside,” he stresses. He also notes that rest from social media lowers anxiety, as there will be less drama of watching who is trying to fake lives and most importantly, the peace of having to wake up to something else. A prayer, breakfast or reading a paragraph in the book. But not checking that phone first thing in the morning. Nkurunziza states that refraining from social media enables one to get enough rest, meditate, and plan for the day better. Evelyn Abayisenga, a form six graduate, who was once obsessed with social media says it became tricky to concentrate on her academics as she gave Facebook, first priority. It is only when she saw her grades decline that she saw the need to take a break from it. Recent research states that the average person spends at least one hour and 40 minutes per day, viewing their favourite social media sites and apps. This is wastage of time that could have been spent in other generative ways. Abayisenga learned that staying away from Facebook actually was the genesis of believing in herself. She used to be taken up by what her friends posted that at times, she wanted to compete with them, a vice that troubled her. She says a social media break is a must-do for everyone as it creates real-life connection with people. She further notes that social media rest allows a person to avoid the past memories especially if they were negative. Since Facebook keeps bringing back old memories, it might be hard for someone to heal from past memories like heartbreak or accidents. Abayisenga also pointed out that social media detox moreover, saves the tension of checking for how many people would like or comment on one’s post. Nkurunziza gives tips on how to detoxify; he says “Replace social media with another activity. Restrict access to social media sites. Uninstall all social media apps. One can also deactivate their accounts for sometime.”
