There’s a lot of misconceptions between the two genders. Over the past hundreds of years, there’s been an unsettled war about the two genders. Maybe it all started when Adam and Eve couldn’t wait for supper and they sneaked into a garden and ate that apple, raw as it was. I don’t know. But what I know is, there’s a been a battle of superiority between genders. An endless rift where each gender claims to be literally on top of the other. All this stems from the fact that we don’t know each other very well. Yes, we claim to be abreast with each other, but clearly, we don’t. It’s laughable. It’s strange, too, because a man and a woman have been on earth for yonks yet they still haven’t known each other very well. But look, I am not Einstein to figure out all this, but since I am a man, I will tell you what I wish women knew about me, about us, about men.
The patriarchy has always dictated that the male specie should be strong. Like steel. Strong, powerful and void of emotions. This is a lie. Men are emotional beings. We really are. We might sit with the boys in a bar and push hard liquor and pretend to be as strong as Thanos, but we are emotional. We are humans. We are made of blood and flesh and tears and a beating heart. Men suffer from heartbreaks too and that’s fine. Men should embrace it and learn to live with it. And women, on the flip side, should know this as well. That they aren’t the only ones who’re emotional, that they aren’t the only ones with glassy hearts. We are all in this pool of emotions together, struggling to stay afloat and avoiding to sink into depression.
Give me space
Naturally, as human beings, we crave for space. It’s a human truth. Giving someone space should be a fundamental human right. Giving someone space, sometimes, is like giving them an antidote for their ailments. And men crave for this said space. They want it. They need it. I’ve had a conversation with male friends and this always came on top of their list. They hate it when they are being suffocated, literally. They hate it when there’s a bloody eye in the sky watching over them, every step they make, everything they do. Yes, we understand you’re trying to care about us. We understand that, maybe, this is your form of showing affection towards us. In your mind, you think you’re doing the right thing, which is fine, really. But learn when to go slow. Learn to know that, sometimes, a man needs his space, his me-time, just like you. I want to sit in silence and mind my business. I want to step at the balcony and shoot the breeze, alone. I want to be alone and rethink stuff and replay my day in my mind. I want space to do my own things where I don’t have anyone breathing down my neck. I have had a long day (like you) and I want 10 or more minutes alone. Give me space and we shall sail through the murky waters of relationship/marriage effortlessly.
It’s not always about you
Look, we have lives. We have people in our lives. We have friends. We have work. We have businesses. We have deals. There’s football on TV. And all this brings forth a cocktail of stress. Sometimes, there’s a deal that went bad, or a delayed payment, or a boss whose ego is bigger than a hippo. This means, I won’t be in my best mood, sometimes. And when you find me in this mood, it’s not about you. It’s not always about you. Don’t start apologizing, or claiming imaginary things. Don’t cook things in your mind and slap them on me. “Huh? Now you aren’t going to talk to me, boy? What did I do? That text? Is it the one that’s pissing you off?” No, babe. It’s not that text. In fact, I forgot about that text. It’s a delayed payment that’s pissing me off. It’s Jose Mourinho. It’s not about you, about us. No? Also, when this situation happens, men should always open up and speak up and tell their loved ones that it’s not about them. Tell them what’s making you moody like a bank teller at 3pm.
Avoid my phone.
This will cause an uproar in the room, I know. Please sit down. One of the reasons why relationships end is because of a mobile phone. Worse, it might even be an Android phone. A World War 4 is sparked off, because a partner has refused to pass on their phone. Look, woman, avoid my phone the way I am avoiding yours. Men hate people with long arms that stretch for their phones and are inquisitive like a determined FBI agent. What are you looking for, babe? I never have passwords in my phone. I find it silly and the whole thing of trying to be insecure is so stupid. Trust me and I will trust you. Trust me and, please, don’t touch my phone. This is my privacy, respect it.
It’s not always about sex
Imagine you’re in a bar, or restaurant. There’s this pretty girl seated in the corner. Eyes lock. There’s an invisible gravitational pull that’s pulling you together. So, you stand up, your drink in hand, and walk over to her seat. “Hello, can I join you?” you ask her, while pulling a chair. The lady says it’s fine. Pleasantries are exchanged. There’s laughter. The conversation starts. You’re having a goodtime. Then it’s time for you to leave. You lean over and ask her, “Can I have your number? We can do more of this once in a while.” She says no. Why? She thinks you’re hitting on her, that you want to sleep with her. Well, it’s not always like that. Sometimes we want to just tell you about the Bible and tell you to give your life to Christ and invite you for cell.