The simple explanation: Meghan Markle vs Trump

The UK has an immigration problem. Its porous borders allow in the worst sex-pests and con-artists and villainy and foulness and no Brexit can stop it. There was a prime example this week. Let me explain.

Donald Trump got a state visit with the Queen.

Prior to this, people from other countries flying into the UK has been good for the elderly of Britain. They get Africans and Asians and Eastern Europeans to provide care for those who are in their twilight years, as nurses and maids. I am sure we all know someone who left for Leeds, London, Bristol etc. to clean bedpans, massage arthritis and in other ways minister to those in their golden age for the pittances offered by the ‘Muzungu’ economy.

Trump, however, is not a caregiver. He is a prolific liar, an unrepentant fiend, and the reason we can argue that the US is an LDC-- a less developed country. It is less developed than it was before he took over and undermined all the things we admired about it.

But this is not a political column. We are here to talk about the celebrity angle. Which means TV star Meghan Markle.

Meghan Markle, who did so sparkle in that show ‘Suits’, went on to marry a prince of the British realm, becoming in the process Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex.

Ms Markle, before she became HRH, was a strong and outspoken feminist, activist, and woman and had things to say about Trump and his bid to grab the US by the presidency, things which led him to recently label her a “nasty” woman. Nasty woman is a phrase he uses for, well, for women who don’t share his over inflated view of himself. Like Hillary Clinton who dared oppose him.

I sent my research department to find out what she said that sparked this response. The findings were disappointing. There was no flaming abuse. She merely said he was divisive and misogynistic, which he knows and is avowedly proud of.

To which he replied, prior to his visit, that “I didn’t know she was a nasty woman.”

So he is in the UK on a state visit, bothering the Queen, Prince Phillip, Prince Charles, Camilla Duchess of Cornwall and other royals. Notably missing is Prince Harry and Her Royal “Nastiness” Megan Duchess of Sussex.

I would like to presume that upon hearing news that the royal family had been scheduled to meet Divisive Don, Ms Markle, being American, said, “Ain’t nobady gat time fo’ dat!” and retreated to her room to watch Spongebob Squarepants, but we have to rely on the facts, so well, she was on maternity leave. She just had a baby boy, bouncing Prince Archie Harrison, and she has to tend to him.

Prince Harry was at the official events but he was sleek as a fox, cunningly swerving and ducking and dodging out of any camera angle that would have him photographed with the guy who trash talked his wife.

Prince William, too, told them to sit him as far away as possible from Trump because, well, in case we haven’t already established how ‘trash’ he can be, Trump also previously tweeted about nude photos of Prince William’s wife, Kate Duchess of Cambridge, nee Middleton. And once said something, yes, nasty, about their mother, the late Princess Diana.

Trump got his photos with the Queen and Prince Charles, though. But still, this state visit was not a great one.

Imagine, flying all the way to visit a family for dinner, just to be barely tolerated and painfully endured. But that’s what happened.

It would be cool, though, if right after this, the Obama’s show up and there is a full house party, and Meghan even brings little Prince Archie out so we can get one of those adorable photos of Barack and a baby.