KWEZI AND I: Of unanswered questions

Just the other day, my friends and I were talking about dealing with bullies. I have read and watched many stories regarding bullying and I am always left boiling with anger. Most of the time, a child who is a bully is getting it from somewhere. Either one of the parents bullies the other as the child is watching, or the parents do not do anything to discourage their child from the vice as soon as it rears its head. In the end, these children tend to think that the only way to be respected or to be heard is by pushing other people around.

Well, the main question between my friends and I was, what you would do if you found out that your child is being bullied at school. The idea of anyone, child or adult, bullying my child literally leaves me shaking. What would I really do? Knowing my character and personality, I do not have the patience of going to talk to parents. I am a fixer and I am a lioness whose cub you don’t push around, so I am convinced that I would probably deal with the bully hands on. That is the emotional me but when I lay in bed and think like a rational person, a parent, I think that there is a better way to do it.

Kwezi is a really humble girl. I have seen her being pushed around by younger children and instead of defending herself, she bursts into tears. My housemate has previously told me that inside that seemingly vulnerable girl is a feisty girl who like any other human being has a breaking point. How do I raise a girl who should defend herself when need be? How can I ensure that other boys and girls don’t make her the girl who is always crying instead of throwing them a tough look that says ‘don’t dare’? I really have no idea. I have in the past attempted to make her slap some girl on the bum to show her that fighting is not good but she ended up making us all laugh because she literally patted her bum.

I have always told you that I am a learner on this parenting journey. I am yet to figure out most things and I pick up lessons as I go. Sometimes it’s challenging but the wins are always worth it. I will definitely come back with an answer when I find out the answer for this particular bullying question.