On some of those boring weekend evenings, I usually read novels, but one time, I went to YouTube instead. As I was scrolling through to get something interesting to watch, a certain title caught my attention, and I clicked on it. It was a real life story posted by NTV Kenya about a couple that had much to share about their marriage journey. The title itself gave me the impression that it was a sad story.
For the 10 years this couple had been married, the wife was cheating on her husband. At the start, they had their first child, and all seemed fine. But then the woman got addicted to drugs; cocaine and marijuana. She also got HIV and kept it to herself. She stayed away from their matrimonial home for fear of infecting her husband with the virus. Naturally, the husband was suspicious about his wife’s behaviour. He asked her to go back home to discuss whatever issue was keeping her away. She refused.
Eventually, she went back and got pregnant with their second child. That is when she infected her husband with HIV. Deep down, she was dying of guilt. She couldn’t face her husband. Then one day, she asked if they could talk about something. She opened up to him and he forgave her. They both went for counselling and are now on ARVs.
I couldn’t hold back my tears as I watched. For 10 years, the woman kept a deadly secret. Her husband—with grace and kindness— said on the live real life TV programme that he forgave his wife because he has so in love with for that he couldn’t imagine not being with her.
The saying “love is blind” popped in my head. I read comments from people insulting the woman, calling her a selfish, evil witch, and worse. But ask yourself, if you were in that man’s shoes, what would you do?
No one wants to associate with liars. For you to earn people’s trust, you have to be honest. Honesty gives you a peace of mind, self-respect, confidence, and boosts relationships with your workmates, friends and family.
Honesty is not just about expressing the fact, rather, it is about being real with yourself and others—what you need, what you hate and what makes you happy in life. Honest people are open and able to develop stability in how they present the facts.
Once you lie, cheat, steal, distort the truth, or practice any unethical behaviour, it might be hard to make yourself true or get a second chance from the ones you have hurt. We have all been dishonest at some point, but it takes a strong person to acknowledge mistakes and then change. No need to lie. You better tell the truth, face the consequences then ask for forgiveness. George Bernard Shaw is quoted to have said, “We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.”