These special times have made me redefine or rather extensively explore the concept of HOME. As the majority of the world population is confined inside, some are gladly spending more quality time with their loved ones whereas others are living in fear, anxiety and depression resulting from all sorts of abuse they are subjected to, in their homes. Before I proceed, I encourage us all to stay informed about how to actively help those in abusive situations. There are toll free numbers to call and get proper information, guidance and needed help, while in such situations. Let us know them, let us share them around and let’s never be silent about abuse whenever we see it, WHEREVER it is happening. My prayers go to those who would rather be elsewhere than a house supposed to feel like home. Please be advised that, this particular post, is not for people who are not privileged enough to TRULY feel safe, in their homes. I wish us all discernment and empowerment, but above all, safety!
This challenging time we are currently living in, has made me reflect on all the ways we contribute to the formation of our ideal home.
Inevitably, for some of us if not most of us, spending more time together in the same space implies getting to know one another better. Regardless of the amount of time we still spend alone in our rooms, I am ready to bet that at the end of this lock down, most families will have gained in self-knowledge and knowledge about all the other family members. We will discover our siblings’ qualities which we had no idea about before this, we will learn more about our parents’ fears or triggers and mostly, we will find out a bit more about ourselves, admits it all, as a result of it all. I have come to realize that it is also these little things that contribute to our altering idea of home as well as our active role in shaping our homes. Some of us will be confronted to situations or conversations which will require to show sides of our personalities that our folks are not necessarily familiar with. There will be heated arguments or unprecedented interactions and we won’t be able to leave the house afterwards, banging doors behind us. If we still choose to retire to our rooms as a way of escaping uncomfortable situations, ultimately, we will realize that when we get out of it we will still have to remain in the house; the only way to truly get over something is to go through it.
Now, I know what some of you must be thinking right now: in our (or in some) families, honest interactions between parents and children is a privilege; an nonexistent privilege. If you were raised in an environment where you were taught that not speaking your mind in front of the elders is a form of respect -especially when it is about sensitive topics- you are most likely to see an authentic conversation with your folks as some sort of utopia. To be honest, I am no exception, to some extent. It is with this acknowledgement that, progressively, I have committed to detach myself from such unhealthy and quite old way of thinking, way of behaving, way of living. It is an unlearning process that shall take all the time it must take. While I was already on this journey of emancipation, I had not quite paid attention to how it shapes my conception of home, until recently.
See, home is a feeling. It is a feeling that resonates with your heart’s desires. Home is feeling that resonates with your aspirations. Home is a feeling that should also resonate with your ambitions and your life purpose. We all need a home to go to when the road gets bumpy, to rest, to find comfort and safely & confidently get ready to resume our journey to greatness. The simple thought of HOME should be rejuvenating enough. We should be proud of our homes, partly because we are part of it, but also because we contributed to the feeling it gives us. If we must fight to create the exact feeling we want to associate with home, we must!
Engage in that conversation. Allow yourself to be triggered. Trigger, if it is done with the intention to spark a revolution which can only bring forward a higher level of consciousness. Ask for forgiveness. Surrender to humility. Let your forehead touch the ground. Take it all in. Let yours remind you of the complementarity of discipleship and leadership. Fight for your right to feel good about your HOME. Inspire your loved ones to aspire to the same, so that HOME can truly have its true meaning in everyone’s heart. Do this, this month, this year and all the time you will have the opportunity, because the need of a safe and healthy Home is lifelong.
As we come to terms with the fact that, for most of us, our routines have changed, may we all strive to get there both safely and lovingly. May we love what we feel within as much as what we see in the mirror. May we bask in family time just as much as we lose ourselves in our respective ideas of utopia. May we love staying home because, in many little different ways, we find it and feel it in our core beings, every day. I send you warm love, from my home to yours.