Think about the moment you failed to try out something because of the attitude, “I can’t do it.” It all starts with the mind and later kills your ability to try. Fear is an illusion that counterfeits false thoughts about you, where you might even start questioning yourself “am I good enough? Do I deserve it? What if I fail? What will people say? Fear is expressed at increasing levels as worry, anxiety, dread, terror and panic. In some cases it can lad you into making wrong decisions. It is so powerful to keep us from achieving our goals and living our best lives. It feeds stagnation and hinders us from taking advantage of opportunities. Well, fear is normal but it depends on which kind of fear you are facing. Fearing to lose our dear ones or getting hurt is normal; I believe each one of us has experienced this. But any kind of fear that stops you from reaching your goals or becoming better is not good. What matters most is recognising your fear and finding solutions to it; it shouldn’t extract shame or stay hidden. You could wonder how you would realise that you are filled with fear, when you find it hard to forget your past, probably you were criticised, rejected, cursed or failed to perform certain tasks. Somehow, this deters you from loving and trusting yourself and this creates a low self-esteem. We all know life doesn’t come easy, but the moment you discover that you desist yourself from taking risks, for instance; about work, relationships, or academics, know that fear has been offered a seat in your life. You are then coiled up in the corner; you can’t think beyond your imagination, dreams might not make sense any more. You are worn with fear when you are afraid of departing from your comfort zone. You are frightened about failing, succeeding, rejections and negative feedback. Fear crafts room for addictions like alcohol, television, among others; as you would want to hide your depression, anxiety, restlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, frustration, sadness, loneliness and fatigue. Panic and fear lead to procrastination. As you worry about trying something, you end up postponing it .A friend recently shocked me, in an era of girls or women yearning to get married before 25, she is not on that list. She fears getting married, reason being, what if it is not a bed of roses like she thinks. Her boyfriend has tried to convince her since he is ready to settle with no other girl, but her. However, her girlfriend thinks otherwise. “What if my boyfriend changes his character the moment we get married?” she asked. I was forced to ask how long they have been dating because courtship is very necessary before marriage. They have been dating for about six years, but she is still not sure whether she is ready to settle down. She is 26 years old now. My question to her was, “So how will you know about marriage if you don’t try it out?” Fear can’t allow you to stand up for what you believe, let your voice be heard when your honesty is being susceptible. It can’t give you chance to tell people when they hurt your feelings. It makes you afraid to ask for what you really want. It also elicits stress responses in the body that put you at risk of disease and make it hard for the body to heal itself. The good news is, you can cure fear through meditating, gain courage (learn to make tough decisions), and stop questioning your beliefs and thoughts. editor@newtimesrwanda.com
