One thing being decried by many in Kigali today; silently or loudly is the high divorce rates. Whether it’s a church, salon or massage parlour one can’t help but overhear a story about someone who has left the country after a nasty divorce or one who remarried a few weeks after their first marriage failed. Going by this trend, and the high number of unmarried people, is it possible that for the single ones hovering around all that is needed is patience because their future partner could currently be entangled in a bad marriage? That it is possible someone was created to be another person’s number two after their first one has failed? I took to social media since that is where a lot of debates end these days. In my tweet I encouraged the single people to be patient and wait for their future mate to come out of a struggling marriage. A lot of comments came through, I got a few DMs too because this message had gone so deep for some. There’s a pastor who came to me saying how he filed for divorce in January this year after discovering that his wife had been cheating on him for three years. It all started when she asked to go to Tanzania for a church retreat. A friend that was to host her never laid her eyes on the Pastor’s wife. Afterwards she got all moody and constantly looked for something to fight about. She even moved out of the master bedroom. Her husband being a pastor did not want to let his sheep know there were issues at his house. She took this chance to abuse him till he said enough was enough. When he filed for divorce last January his fellow pastors called a meeting to discuss his ‘conduct’ saying it was disgraceful; he did not care for none of these people had an idea what he had gone through the last few years. Another guy shared his story and expressed fury at how people react whenever a man comes out to say he can’t take it any longer. He also shared an experience where he had cohabited with a lady for three years and together they had a daughter. One day he returned home to find her with a man in their bed and when he talked to his friends they all rebuked him for crying like a woman. Those two cases I have mentioned were not a paragraph or two; they were long, detailed personal stories. It goes without saying that a lot of tears are being shed in homes, in the bedroom! People are putting a lot of energy in trying to appear perfect as the situation worsens by the day. Is it about time we formed a club for divorcees and single people so that they can share experiences and probably help each other?
