The concept of an open relationship

Jada Pinkett, wife to Actor Will Smith, trended this week after singer August Alsina claimed he had a love affair with the actress for years. He went on to say that her husband Will Smith knew about it and gave them his blessing. The Smith couple has previously denied divorce rumours, with Jada saying they are family and will forever remain so.  On what she said about the two of them being able to do whatever they want, she said ‘yes indeed it is true’ and it is because they trust each other well enough to do so. It was not to mean they have an open relationship but to show they have a grown relationship. 

The Jada and Will story; open or not open, reminded me of a couple I knew. Both the wife and husband were prominent people, one in politics and the other in business. They interacted with the high and mighty of society. Along the way the relationship had cracks, and it became apparent that they were going through hell trying to stay together. So what did they do? They put emotions aside and had a mature conversation, divorce was out of the cards completely because they stood to lose a lot more divorced than if they stayed together, but lived separate lives. So they reached a consensus they would stay in the same house but separate bedrooms, the children that were old enough to understand this were informed of the new arrangement. This couple in an East African country agreed to do what Jada and Will could be doing but they have not openly admitted. It’s their life; they don’t owe anyone an admission. 


Long ago when the woman of the house felt like she could no longer meet her husband’s demands, both physical and psychological, she would head out and search for a female younger and stronger to help. Remember back then they gave birth to a lot of children, the body grew weak real fast. It was common to find a couple where the man is still energetic and wants to continue but the lady’s body has given way; a couple like that would agree to find help and indeed that help moved in and gave the woman a hand in all ways. There were other cases where the new woman (or man in some communities) did not move in with the couple but was known and agreed upon. Is that something modern couples should consider? 


The number of children a woman sires could have reduced but her responsibilities have increased significantly. Unlike in the past, today both husband and wife will go out ‘hunting’ and when they return home between serving the husband, putting the children to bed and sending one last work email by the time a woman enters bed she is exhausted and everything from then on seems forceful. Disclaimer; don’t come at me if your situation is the complete opposite of this, you are in a good place, enjoy. 


Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for some people to consider the open relationship approach.                                                                                                                 

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