‘Black sheep’ of the family

Have you ever followed a family whose every business is in the spotlight and just when you think you have read, seen and know everything about them, there’s a bereavement and the deceased is a child of the family yet you had never spotted them anywhere? It leaves you scratching your head wondering how you missed that.

Well it happens.

 

A young lady recently lost her life and much as she came from a billionaire family, her sister and brothers were more known than her. Many people only heard of her after she had died. A statement from the company founded by the parents paid tribute to the deceased Strategy and Development Director and credited her for important innovations that have enriched the company’s wide product range.

 

Investigations into her mysterious death are going on and the man she was allegedly living with is in custody. Looking at photos of that lady and the man, one would find it hard to believe that they were in a relationship; he looks way older than her, hairy, rough and rugged. Ordinarily, a lady with her background would mix and mingle with a certain calibre of people, and so for her to end up in the arms of such a man it is possible she went looking for something she had been denied at home, mainly love. Those that know her say she ‘fled’ from home because her whole family treated her badly. Her sister who was always introduced as the heiress of the business was showered with love and affection and introduced to the public, whereas this one was the ‘black sheep’ that was rarely seen.

 

This scenario is not strange; families have secrets or dirt and there could be the ‘black sheep’ that is asked to stay in the bedroom as the rest of the family welcomes visitors to the house.

When this lady felt devoid of love, she travelled to the coast, met a beach boy who regardless of the age difference cared and showed her that she was appreciated. Never underestimate the power of loving someone and showing them that you do. Many men and women that end up as drug addicts or outcasts are normally after something their immediate environment cannot provide. There is a time I wrote about loving and caring for an alcoholic friend or sibling; this is important because the more you show them disdain the farther away you push them from help.

In the quest to protect the image or name of the family, children considered capable of dragging it down the drain are taken overseas to study so that they are so far away, and whatever they do there cannot be linked to the family. Unfortunately for many such families the truth normally comes out when that child passes on. What is surprising is how the same family that did not care will suddenly be the grieved and hurting family that will post pictures and say how lovely that person was, all in sync with the most preferred societal way of mourning. If I failed to be there for a sibling when he or she needed me most why am I posturing by their coffin? Of what use is that? Tecra is buried but the stain she leaves will not be easily cleaned; the image the family has tried to protect for years could be damaged for good.

editor@newtimesrwanda.com

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