It is an eternal quandary in many cultures: the inability of parents, especially mothers, to accept that their children have become adults and no longer need their protection. One wonders sometimes if the problem does not stem from some parents own insecurities based on fear that they have been replaced in their child’s heart by a stranger and interloper.
But the blame is shared by husbands or wives who are unable to tell off their parents – and to a lesser extent other relatives – whenever they try to meddle in their relationship with their spouses.
A gentle rebuff at first, followed by a stronger rebuke should put such meddlers in their place. They should be made to understand that, no matter the love they claim motivates them, the relationship between a man and his wife is a privileged one in which none, even a mother, should interject him or herself.
Only a weak man or woman allows parents or relatives to put their marriage in jeopardy, no matter the excuse they might proffer about having your best interests at heart.
Mwene Kalinda, Kigali, Rwanda
Reaction to the story, “Marriage intrusion: When the entire clan is betrothed”, (Society Magazine, September 13)