I have always said that my journey with Kwezi is a learning curve. All the time. I find it hard to believe that in only two months, she is turning three. What a small number! What stories and memories it carries so far!
So what has been going on with us in the past one week? Not much really. The only observation that I managed to make was that Kwezi has the potential of being a drama queen. She can easily stand there and burst into tears, the same way that she can squeal with laughter without warning. My daughter is a child of surprises; some which are great and others, absolutely not.
When I enter the house from work, life as everyone knows it changes. She throws a tantrum over everything. I used to fear that by consoling her, even when she is being unreasonable, I would be encouraging ‘big headedness’; something that I can’t tolerate. If she has done something under the category of ‘bad manners’, I will ignore her and depending on how dramatic the scene is, I will give her a few slaps on her bum. Yes, I am that kind of mother.
However, I am beginning to rethink my strategy. I have noticed that her ‘unreasonable’ behaviour is instantly forgotten when I hug her and say ‘sorry’. I can’t stop wondering if I am doing her a disservice but after being away from morning to evening, I feel that all she wants is attention.
Kwezi and I are cuddly people. Whenever I am around her, I am holding her, covering her face with kisses. It’s perhaps true that we get what we give. She is now using hugs and kisses to communicate. For instance, I have had a bad cough for the last few days, the kind that leaves your chest feeling like its bruised. Nothing is more soothing like coughing and she comes over and wraps her small arms around me and she says ‘shorry mummy’. When Kwezi gets in a fight with her cousin Jasmine and there are tears involved, she will do the same; wrap her arms around her and say ‘shorry Jazzy’.
I have also noticed that she sometimes attempts to shut me up waving her arms and saying many words that I can’t understand. All I do is give her a stern look and not say anything, and voila, she will walk to me, put her head in my lap and say ‘shorry’.
Being a working single mother can be challenging but when you have a little time on your hands, it helps to be observant. Get cues and ride on them if they add value. For now, Kwezi won’t be ignored or given a few slaps on the bum. She will get the attention that she deserves because I don’t want to look back and feel ‘shorry’.