Ask The Counsellor

Dear Joy
Being spouses and co-workers is a complex task that requires love, patience and intellect to build the business, as well as maintain a fulfilling marriage. If your partner is rude and overly dramatic in the business, then this is already a red flag that your business and its image are at stake and you have to do something to save it from collapsing. His unworthy conduct makes every day of your worklife torture and I truly understand how this ruins your self-esteem and diminishes your importance as a wife.

You have the advantage of the bond you share as a married couple with similar goals. So you just need to find ways on how to work as equal partners in the business and take turns serving in managerial positions. A loving and caring couple will work towards supporting and uplifting each other to explore all possible heights because you both have similar interests. The real power doesn’t come from dominating or underminding the other, rather, working as a team with respect for each other because marriage is a life time endeavour and it requires thoughtful choices and perseverance.

You need to find out what generates his anger and collectively develop strategies that suppress it and turn it into constructive behaviour. Choose a time when he is in a good mood with fewer distractions and hold a discussion expressing your feelings about his rude conduct at work. If you have any criticism, please make it positive and deter any further escalation of issues. Don’t strategise your actions in retaliation of what he does, like yelling at you infront of the employees, rather, try to be as polite as possible to bring some calm to the situation and he will soon realise that you’re the only woman who can tolerate his behaviour. And he will be grateful for that.

Controlling anger means staying positive and doing the right thing. Make a plan on how to manage his hot temper and apply humour as a way to respond. The best thing about humour is that it relieves tension. Respond to him in a soft tone. No one is perfect. We sometimes treat other people badly but we later feel remorse, so check yourself too, you could be part of what makes him rude.

A diplomatic approach might transform him into a peaceful and loving partner, both at work and at home.