The Counsellor's thoughts...

Dear Nadia

Growing up as an orphan is an experience that no one would wish their children to go through. You’re not alone and you should stand strong against all these tribulations in order to succeed in life. Your story raises a few questions which call for your own intellectual decisions to keep out of trouble with your bosses. It’s true some bosses can really set hurdles and make work impossible every so often over baseless issues, and it is worse if they’re women.

To make matters worse, your boss in her early 20’s is still young, her age is associated with trust issues, irrational decision making and therefore views any woman as a potential threat to her marriage. Similarly, some nannies often envy their bosses’ marriages and behave in ways that aim at drawing attention of the husbands. Consequently, the wives begin to react in fear and anger and take aggressive steps to protect their homes. You should be cautious and avoid any conduct that will give her reasons to think of you in a romantic situation with her husband.

Sit down and examine your own behaviour at work regarding dress code, hygiene standards and other traits that could be ruining your relationship with your bosses. I would also recommend that you approach both of them in a humble way and express yourself. It requires a great deal of emotional intelligence as you focus on doing the right thing to clear any doubts about any wrongdoing in their home.

Tell them, “I’ve noticed that my conduct could have upset you and the relationship I had with you has deteriorated. It worries me that you’re not happy with me anymore and you’ve asked me to leave this job which I hold dear. I am asking you as a woman to give me a second chance with strict guidelines and I will do my best to fulfill my duties and not go wrong again.”

You must be able to present the best version of yourself in a way that shows determination, compliance, and boundaries. I can assure you, she just needs this level of respect and assurance, to know that no one is out to take her husband.

I am certain she’ll sympathise with you. But if she does not take your words, then you’ll have proved your innocence and it will be time for you to look for another job. You’re not cursed and if you apply the above strategies well, you’ll get a job that gives you a peace of mind. I wish you the best.