Make it work for you

There are too many gurus, professionals, books, lectures, well-wishers, you name it… there’s too much of it when it comes to wisdom on how to raise your children. More so on how to raise them right.

There are too many gurus, professionals, books, lectures, well-wishers, you name it… there’s too much of it when it comes to wisdom on how to raise your children. More so on how to raise them right.

If you buy every book you will soon be a pauper and not even any wiser because as you skim through them you will soon discover that there is a lot of contradictory advice, and while much of it may be good advice, there will be a lot that may not even be relevant to your personal circumstances…. So what are we to do?

Share. Yes, share is the typical and most comprehensive and practical answer in my opinion. It is also the very reason there is so much contradictory advice along with the usual old wives’ tales floating around. But yes, sharing is still the most practical solution. I say this because it is through sharing that you will discover other parents who are going through or have experienced situations similar to yours.

You will find yourself learning from the discoveries and/or mistakes of other parents set in contexts that are relevant to you. Through sharing you will find it easier to weed out what may work or not work for you, what you can and can’t afford and sort out half of the dilemmas you may have had to deal with. (I guarantee that you will not escape them entirely- such are the joys!)

So here I am sharing my top ranking irritating behaviour from the necessary evils (not all bad I must add) that help us care for our children, the domestic help.

The one who always has an excuse! Her stories don’t ever seem to add up, always making excuses for her shortfalls, never apologises and you notice that your requests aren’t followed. You and your nanny are working together to care for your child, but acting like she knows more about the child and your child rearing choices than you do is just disrespectful and unacceptable. When that happens to me, I find a way to tell her gently but sternly that it will be best if we parted ways.

The undependable one. Nothing is more frustrating than to endeavour to make your programme run smoother, only to have it foiled by the very person you entrusted with the responsibility to make it easier on you! The undependable caregiver will leave you in a tricky position over and over again. She is usually late and/ or has unexplained absences.

Such behaviour may also mean that she is unreliable in other ways as well. For example you may find that your baby often looks shabby and dirty. If one’s care giver can’t take care of the basics, it may be a sign that she is not all that committed when it comes to meeting your child’s needs. I say you need to find someone who is committed to the job and is considerate of your needs.

The know-it-all type. You and the children’s care giver are supposed to work as a team. And you should welcome constructive suggestions from your child’s caregiver — especially if she spends a lot of time with your ever-changing baby. But on the flip side she should also be willing to adjust to your principles and preferences – it is your child after all.

If you sense that the two of you just aren’t on the same page when it comes to basics like food, sleep, and safety, the relationship might not work out in the long run. It’s your family, your children, your way. You need to make it work for you! And that’s my two cents worth of sharing… what can you share?

 

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