I have seen some very odd things in my life but someone sweating through the eyes, ears, nose and head is by far the oddest I have seen.
Sandra’s different body parts broke into uncontrollable sweating the second she walked into our local hangout and saw that the dude I had been praising for days was the magician that she had a fling with many years ago.
Let me explain. A while back, Sandra asked me to hook her up with one of my guy friends - I ignored the insinuation that I am a “walking dating site” but it’s understandable that she would mistake me for one because truthfully I mastered the art of matchmaking.
You see for me, all I ever loved about Literature in high school was the novel Emma by Jane Austen. Boy did it teach me how to become the perfect matchmaker. Allow me to brag that half the weddings I have attended have only happened because of my brilliant matchmaking skills. I know exactly who is fit to be with who, and you better not argue with me because I am always right but even better, I have proof!
Please note that I do not part-time as a match-maker, this service only extends to my friends.
So on this lovely day, Sandra came to meet the dude I had planned for her to date and damn was she dressed for her blind date!
I’m getting ahead of myself here. You see, Sandra had a one night thing with this guy that she later nicknamed “the true magician”. Apparently the name comes from the disappearing act he pulled after a sex filled night.
According to Sandra she woke up and the guy had vanished in thin air and only God knows to where. Understand that I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that some of you have pulled this one.
But guys, on a more serious note can you just grow a pair already! Sandra did not ask the guy to be her husband or to meet her mother or to marry her or be the father of her kids. NOPE!
All she wanted was to hang out, maybe cuddle a few times and get to know the guy better. Sadly, the fool was here looking forward to meeting his next victim.
Let us all agree that I am the master of my game and my incapability of tolerating other people’s shenanigans is very high. So I applied my magic and today they celebrate one week as a couple.