I call this ‘honest dating’. People date for different reasons but I always take relationships seriously regardless of whether they might fail because at the end, at least I was committed to the relationship.
When I am in a relationship with someone I don’t waste time wondering if it will fail. Instead I think of the guy I am dating as my potential husband to be. So you can see why it is imperative that I know everything about his past and what kind of person he was or probably still is. If I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him then I must know everything about him.
If you don’t want to know everything frankly there is a problem. Honesty shouldn’t be imposed on you; it comes naturally if you are deeply in love. People who think telling the truth will sabotage the relationship are those that are afraid they person hasn’t changed. If I met a guy who has been in a countless relationships and he told me the truth, his honesty alone would prove that he has changed. But secretive people are the really dangerous ones. I would rather be with the devil I know than stay with an angel I don’t know.
People who are not concerned about the past have no business dating. Dating is that phase where you determine if you want to be with a person for the rest of your life based on what you know about the person and how you feel. It’s a process or a moment to discover if a certain person will make a good life time mate. I think a person’s history is a major factor that determines if they will handle the relationship and the future they want to build together.
I believe everyone has a story so I don’t see any reason to pretend that you don’t have anything to share with the person you live with. If we don’t let people help us overcome the mistakes we made in the past, we are likely to fall in the same trap.
It is only natural to want to know about the kind of life a potential mate led before meeting you. If you are going to commit to a relationship then you need to know. THAT is real dating.