‘When’ rules in Dark Knight relationship dictionary

This is a tricky word even if you won’t see the drift. Just know that in your love life, the day you will fail to address the question of “when” is the day the word will begin to sound like “wane”. At that point, you will look like a fool who denies there was a Genocide in 1994 just because his kindred weren’t at the receiving end of the bloody urchins.
Jacobs O. Seaman
Jacobs O. Seaman

This is a tricky word even if you won’t see the drift. Just know that in your love life, the day you will fail to address the question of “when” is the day the word will begin to sound like “wane”. At that point, you will look like a fool who denies there was a Genocide in 1994 just because his kindred weren’t at the receiving end of the bloody urchins.

To be on the safe side, learn to wade yourself the “when moments”. Here are some tips:

When you must cheat, ensure she is cuter than your wife

My apologies; this is only for men. Any woman who wants cheating pills from my clinic can wait another day. In the meantime, you can read this and get an idea of the lemons life has a way of giving men. On the sidelines, you can invent profanities for Tanzanian president Jakaya Kikwete—Dark Knight doesn’t have a soft spot for politicians.

Cheating is almost man’s middle name. It’s so rife that if you told me that Adam felt palpations when he saw the Serpent in the Garden of Eden, I wouldn’t slap you. I would just consider the possibility, after all, millions of years later, men have slept with chicken, ducks, goats and even pigs.

But only a fool kisses a frog when he has a beautiful woman in his life. Men who cheat on their wives with homely girls usually advance such excuses as “It’s easier to dish an ugly thing after the ride.” They claim if they go out with women cuter than their wife, it would make ending the philandering look tougher than a labour ward experience.

But the day you exhaust the nine lives of the cheating cat in you, accountability will be expected. Don’t expect to be forgiven just because you can utter out a sweeter “sorry” than a monkey’s chants! You will need some antidote fast.

It’s woe unto you when it emerges the woman you were banging in a Remera lodge can’t pass for your wife’s house-help. Madam will scream and wonder why you could go and eat frog burger when she serves you chicken thighs 26 days a month. However, if the other woman has the looks of Knowless Butera, the hips of Nicki Minaj and come-take-me-to-bed eyes like Christina Milians or sultry lips like for this chick in office, your own wife will evaporate from anger to envy. And before long, she will be consoling herself with “I know he couldn’t help it, that woman is drop-dead material.”

She will even think of befriending her just so she can fight her from within.

When a job interview is done in a brothel

Yesterday, this paper screamed with one that said cases of sexual advances in exchange for jobs, mainly over fear of reprisal, are rife in the country. Now, don’t think that every beautiful thing you see wearing a corporate ID went through the same process, just look at the picture. It’s mind-boggling and utterly uncivil for women to be used as some tools of selfish gory interests.

A job is hard to come – by merit must always prevail. No job is good enough for a woman’s dignity. When such a moment ever knocks on you your bosom,  you need to uphold your dignity. If you sell cheap, you will be dumped from the job the moment another hot item is used like you.

When the teenage moment re-emerges in adult life

You know how you fought for love with your schoolmate, how you wrote love letters using lollypops and dictionaries? Yes, those moments have a way of rearing themselves in our adult life.

Unfortunately, I have run out of space, so we shall address that issue separately next week. But for more love notes, visit

 

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