Would you work for your ex?(Why torment myself?)

I would not accept to work for my ex because I’m not ready to torment myself.  First of all I think I’d have some anger issues especially if he ‘ripped my heart out’. I also don’t believe in ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’. So, the heartbreaker becomes an instant enemy and I simply can’t deal with him, professionally or any other way for that matter, not even for ridiculous sums!
Doreen Umutesi
Doreen Umutesi

I would not accept to work for my ex because I’m not ready to torment myself.  First of all I think I’d have some anger issues especially if he ‘ripped my heart out’. I also don’t believe in ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’. So, the heartbreaker becomes an instant enemy and I simply can’t deal with him, professionally or any other way for that matter, not even for ridiculous sums!

If a guy dumped me without so much as an apology for his behaviour then turned out to be my employer at a new job, putting my feelings aside to work under his supervision would be accepting defeat.

What if I still have feelings for him? Or perhaps I haven’t quite recovered from the breakup?

It would be hard to sit in the same room with him without thinking about how he treated and humiliated me. Call it paranoia but I think anyone who dumps you will always despise you. What guarantee do I have that he will not pick on me or give me seriously complicated assignments just to see me fail?   I know that it’s advisable to be professional and not let emotions interfere with your work but this is an ex we are talking about. At some point, something will trigger the emotions you are so desperate to hide and you will crack! Let’s say the boss was the one who got dumped, can you handle when constantly questioned about what went wrong?

What proof do you have that they won’t fire you the way you dumped them? See, this is a very tricky situation and I’d rather pass on that discomfort.

They are several things at stake if you are to work for your ex.  It’s like attending their wedding to someone else yet you were engaged just months before.  Can you honestly contain the fact that you used to date? How will your other employees treat you when they get to know about the news? Won’t they question your credentials and assume you got the job because you are still dating secretly?  Gossip is made of twisted stories, so once the information leaks to the wrong person, you can bet that you will be the topic of discussion every lunch hour!

All in all, it would be hard to strike a balance between work and the feelings you have for your ex whether it’s love or hate.  It would definitely affect your performance.

 

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