Should I break the promise I made to wait until marriage?

Guys, I am a virgin and have been dating a guy for about five months now. Originally, I told him I wanted to lose my virginity after marriage and he was okay with it. But now he has started pressuring me and when I remind him about our agreement, he gets really sad. I love him to death and I know he loves me too. What advice can you give me?

Guys, 

I am a virgin and have been dating a guy for about five months now. Originally, I told him I wanted to lose my virginity after marriage and he was okay with it. But now he has started pressuring me and when I remind him about our agreement, he gets really sad. I love him to death and I know he loves me too. What advice can you give me?

Sandra, 24 

I’m glad that both of you took the time to talk about it. Some young people rush into sex without even having the ‘sex talk’ and they end up with unwanted pregnancies and sexually-transmitted diseases.

Why do you want to have sex after marriage? Is there any particular reason? If not, I don’t see why you can’t make love if that’s what will make him happy. Some women have a misconception that a man will dump them after sex which is not always true. If the sparks die out just because you made love, will it be any different after you get married? 

I’m not pushing you to make hasty decisions but when you decide to make love to him, please remember protection. Good luck. 

Eric, 33, is a father of one

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To be honest, I really wouldn’t love to be in your boy friend’s shoes but one thing is for sure, if he really loves you like you say he does then he should be able to wait till marriage. 

You agreed as a couple that you will wait till marriage. I call it ‘a chameleon act’ if he is changing his mind now. Much as he has needs, you have beliefs that you must stick to as well, so stick to your word. 

I am guessing it’s not your first time to date; your virginity has been intact for 24 years now. 

Marriage can’t be that far away if you love each other the way you say you do. 

It would be worthless to go against your beliefs after waiting this long. 

Don’t let this ruin your relationship, either stick to your guns or do it with no regrets! 

Patrick, 21, is in a steady relationship 

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If indeed you love this guy to death, you may have no alternative but to give in to his demands - an act you will regret if he dumps you after conquering “everything.”

He probably has told a couple of his friends that you’re a virgin and bet with them on breaking it before you are 25.

Sex should never be used as a sign of love, but as a fruit that lovebirds enjoy and as a tool for making babies. 

Instead of demanding for sex, a real man must adore the virtues of a woman he has feelings for. If he cannot respect the innocence that you have held for 24 years, you have no business loving such a pretender.

Much as you may be tempted to give in, hold on. You are not an animal driven by sheer hormones but reason. Find someone respectful.

Ivan, 28, is in a long distance relationship

 

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