How to deal with the other woman

What happens when you find out that your partner is cheating on you with another woman? Most women I talked to admitted that they had to find out who this other woman is, whatever the cost.

What happens when you find out that your partner is cheating on you with another woman? Most women I talked to admitted that they had to find out who this other woman is, whatever the cost.

But then again, what is the added value of knowing who the other woman is?

Confronting the other woman requires you to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. She may or may not be friendly. There are cases where the other woman can be so rude and unbecoming that you later regret confronting her. I usually do not advise this as I believe your marriage consists of you and your husband. Deal with the issues in your relationship between the two of you and leave out anyone who is not part of your marriage.

The other disadvantage to contacting your husband’s lover is that it creates the impression that your marriage is falling apart and you are desperately trying to save your relationship with your husband but her presence is preventing that. Some women with loose morals will use this to their advantage and that can really cause more harm to your already vulnerable marriage. If you do contact the other woman, then it is important that you only do so once, say what you have to say and then let it go. I am strongly against contacting her in the first place, however for some women it is part of the healing process. Whether you contact the other woman or not;  it is vital to start efforts to recovering your relationship with your husband and work to fix the marriage.

Some men can be very difficult in such as case though. Grace had been married to her husband for 14 years when she found out about the other woman in her husband’s life. She called the woman and talked to her, but she got a thorough beating from her husband. In fact she was duly informed that he had already taken dowry to her parents so that she can be his second wife. If she was not willing to live with that, she can pack her bags and leave.

She sought advice and was told to stay put and take care of her children. She did so, but it was not long before she suffered from depression and died a year later.

Now, there are things that you cannot avoid in this life, one of those are cheatings in relationships. If you ask any expert on how to deal with a cheating spouse, each one will tell you a different story. One will tell you to pack your bags and leave, while the other will tell you to turn a blind eye, stay put and take care of your children. But I always say the choice depends totally on the wearer of the shoe, for she knows best where it hurts.

It is clear that infidelity causes a lot of pain and grief and it is important to seek advice especially if there are children involved. These things do happen and when they do, though easier said than done, it is of extreme importance to remain calm and rational. It is also necessary to work your part, build your home and take care of your children-leave the rest to God.

 

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