Dammit! I thought I saw Mr. Perfect

The only serious deal breakers for me would be bad breath and a shady accent. I don’t know about you but I can’t stand anyone who says retarded things like ‘zis and zat’ meaning ‘this and that’ – I don’t care how cute you are.

The only serious deal breakers for me would be bad breath and a shady accent. I don’t know about you but I can’t stand anyone who says retarded things like ‘zis and zat’ meaning ‘this and that’ – I don’t care how cute you are.

Other than that, I think my what-my-man-should-be-like list is pretty reasonable. Over the weekend, I got into it with a couple of friends; discussing these dream men. This girl, whose name I won’t mention out of sheer mercy, blabbered on about the perfect guy.

Now, in my head, I kept wondering what she meant by perfect. I honestly thought it was something to do with ‘fitting together’ or ‘connecting’ or whatever. Alas! The girl meant it literally. Since I haven’t yet received my ‘multi-coloured’ belt in Karate, I refrained from slapping some sense into her lest she turned out to be a Million Dollar Baby! 

On and on she went about Mr. Perfect and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that no such creature existed. She said if she has to move to the ends of the earth to find him then so be it. I’m tempted to call her bluff so she can actually go and bore someone else with this horseshit.

I’m sorry, but I do not believe in perfection. Not in humans at least. The girl is clearly still reading Mills and Boon and they are messing with her big time. Who in this day and age still thinks very handsome men are running around throwing money at the women they ‘dangerously’ love?

I have never doubted Ryan Reynolds’ ridiculous good looks. But you see, he is married to a very gorgeous actress who literally has her own money. So it is still not the Cinderella fairytale this chick is on about. This chick wants the handsome (with abs that would put Usher Raymond’s to shame), rich, educated and loving guy who will carry her around like a child and maybe even feed and bathe her from time to time. She wants a man who will cradle her like a baby and never let her cry. I suspect she’s on a very rare drug concoction.

My mum always told me to dream big. She told me no dream was too big. But if I told her right now that I was ‘saving myself’ for Johnny Depp, she would check me into a mental hospital faster than I can say ‘that’s my dream’. Even Johnny has his flaws- he’s kind of short actually. 

Mr. Perfect my @%#!

 

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