When the ‘self-centred’ syndrome takes over

Down memory lane in 2008, on a bus to Kampala, this cute neighbour of mine seemed to know for a fact that I love being pampered. At every bus stop, he bought me a drink or a snack; he kept re-assuring me it was okay to spend on me while I spared my money.

Down memory lane in 2008, on a bus to Kampala, this cute neighbour of mine seemed to know for a fact that I love being pampered. At every bus stop, he bought me a drink or a snack; he kept re-assuring me it was okay to spend on me while I spared my money.

It’s not that I don’t have pride, but the selfish version of myself was convinced it’s noble for any man, even strangers, to spend on a girl.

“It’s every man’s responsibility and every girl is entitled to a treat anyway,” I thought.

I can only credit my instinct today for talking me out of the urge to be spoilt and spent on, even by strangers! I now pity poor ex-boyfriends who literally handed me their pay cheques!

I realize my Cinderella syndrome sent many potential husbands packing; after all, I was on the receiving end all the time.

While westernisation takes its course in transforming the dating world, it’s still typical for many ladies to depend on men financially.

There’s a saying that goes, ‘a successful man is one who makes lots of money while a woman succeeds when she hooks up with such a man.’  Meanwhile, my number one quality on the ideal hubby still remains ‘wealthy.’ Cast the first stone!

“Even the Holy Book tells women to be submissive while men cater to their needs,” Lisa, said.

Lisa is one of those girls who will stop at nothing to get a man to clear the bills. She will smile, use body language and dress to kill just to get a minor restaurant bill cleared! She will hassle at least transport-fare out of a man at the bus stop.

Sometime last year, Lisa, a bunch of friends and myself narrowly escaped shame after running short of money to clear a bill at a Chinese restaurant. Lisa’s then boyfriend had invited us only to discover he had less money in his wallet after the bill was brought.  Being girls, it hadn’t crossed our minds to carry even a single penny!

“He is the man, he should get a way to fix this,” I recall Lisa saying.

Much as I kept telling Lisa it was partly our fault because we had consumed the biggest part of the bill, she wouldn’t listen! It got me thinking, on how many dates do I ever offer to contribute to paying the bill? How many times do I visit the supermarket only to get my bill cleared by a male friend that I bumped into at the entrance? How many lifts do I ever reject?

As weird as it sounds, I realized I’ve been a real bimbo, only waiting for favours and free things. The only good thing is that I was never solo; many chics were just like me!

 

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