I have been dating this guy for four years but it’s like he is tired of being in a relationship. He rarely calls; he generally acts like his a single guy. All the magic sparks we had before seem to be gone. I don’t know if I’m right or just being paranoid. What are the signs of a guy who is tired of a relationship but can’t admit it?
Being in a relationship with someone for four years means that both of you know each other well. At this point, you should know why he is behaving this way. Maybe you haven’t taken enough time to know your guy, and this is where I partly blame you.
Nothing ever stays the way it was the first time when you met. Even if he rarely calls you, it doesn’t mean that he no longer loves you. I think it means that you’ve become real friends and know each other. He used to call you frequently before because he wanted to know more about you, and now he knows. When some guys are tired of a relationship, they become strange and harsh. They don’t want to admit it, but they are irritated. As you say, some will stop calling you and they will do everything possible to avoid you whenever you need a mutual dialog. Some will even act like they are too busy to find time for you. At this stage, make sure that your relationship hasn’t become cold.
Eric, 33, a married father of one
I would be deceiving you if I told you there is a particular way guys acts when they want out of a relationship. First of all before I judge your guy, you didn’t mention how long he’s been acting like that.
If you have been dating this guy for four years and you have done nothing wrong to him, then he might be tired and will do anything to get you to break up with him so that he doesn’t have to. Guys will frustrate you in many ways even when they are not doing anything wrong. For example, he will chill with female friends yet he isn’t giving you that much time. He will complain about how you nag him with issues that shouldn’t cause an argument and blame you for many things. It’s quite puzzling actually. I suggest that if he has been this way for a long time then you shouldn’t let him get to you, give him space. More so when you are sure you’ve not done anything wrong.
Patrick, 21, in a long term relationship
If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, IT IS A DUCK! I have no choice but to be honest here. He’s tired of you and the relationship. He’s obviously just going through the motions. As a guy who is in a long-term relationship I understand that I have certain ‘responsibilities and obligations’. I know that I must ensure that communication remains good and I must keep things spicy. I understand that if I don’t do this, my relationship will shrivel and die.
I’ve done exactly the same thing that your boyfriend is doing. He’s tired of you and he’s mentally moved on. Probably, his issue is how he can end the relationship without seeming like a douchebag. I bet that he’s doing the classical ‘if I ignore her, she will break up with me’ routine. Cut your loses and move on. The bird has left the coop.
Lincoln, 32, stays with his girlfriend