The types of women you should not watch football with

I’m not saying that you can’t have a good time watching a football game with a girl. Lets face it, all girls look sexy in a football jersey. I’m just saying it’s very hard to enjoy watching a game with any of these girls. Point being, when you watch the game all of your focus and concern should be on the field, not on how the girl next to you is going to react.

I’m not saying that you can’t have a good time watching a football game with a girl. Lets face it, all girls look sexy in a football jersey. I’m just saying it’s very hard to enjoy watching a game with any of these girls. Point being, when you watch the game all of your focus and concern should be on the field, not on how the girl next to you is going to react.

The bitch

She’s usually one of your friends’ girlfriends, who your friend for some reason always thinks it’s necessary to bring along. She sits on her phone the entire time or tries to make conversation during the most important moments of the game.

Occasionally, she even threatens to change the channel, or asks to use your laptop to go on Facebook when you are clearly using it to check your fantasy match-up. This girl has no business being over for Sunday football and makes you consider why you’re even friends with your friend in the first place.

The faker

This is the girl who pretends she knows what she’s talking about. She usually has a brother or ex boyfriend who was a fan of your local team, so therefore she pretends to be really interested in the outcome of the game. She only knows the name of the quarterback and the top player and finds it necessary to keep saying their names, even when they’re not on the field.

This girl tries to be cool and act like one of the guys but it’s pretty clear by the end of the first quarter that everyone wants to kill her because she represents all that could go wrong with the average football fan.

The questioner

This one asks too many questions. It’s cute to explain the rules of sports to your girlfriend, but it’s annoying when she literally doesn’t know anything. Questions like “how come they keep throwing garbage on the field” can drive any football fan insane, regardless of how hot the girl is. Having your girlfriend show interest is appreciated, but being interrogated every five minutes is no way to enjoy the game.

The softy

She is just too sensitive. This is the kind of girl who gets squeamish every time there’s a big hit. She acts as if she’s watching a horror flick and not a football game. She worries about every player that gets hit and occasionally roots for the other team because she “feels bad that no one is cheering for them.” This girl should spend her Sundays at a child orphanage, not watching the game with you.

The agitator

The agitator just enjoys getting under your skin. She’s a competitive girl by nature who takes advantage of every opportunity available to get you riled up. This is the kind of girl who cheers for the other team, just to piss you off. She’s loud and obnoxious, and though she thinks she is being cute by bickering with you, you actually want to punch her in the face.

The all-knowing

I know this is a rare one, but you can’t exclude those girls who grew up surrounded by males and were practically brought up on football. She is so intense about her team that it actually scares you because you’ve never seen a girl so angry that you haven’t cheated on.

She can answer every one of your demeaning sports trivia questions, and can even chug a beer faster than you. This girl is cool to have around initially, but ultimately becomes intimidating and makes you uncomfortable. You’re a girl. You’re not supposed to challenge me on a football question and actually be right, huh?

 

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