There is this moneyed neighbour of ours who has a heart bigger than a whale. Seeing that he always left his home at the same time I usually left to go to school, he decided to start giving me lifts to school in his sleek, black Land Cruiser. Everyone always asked me if he was my dad. This guy really didn’t have the rich look, and I used this to my advantage. I told them he was our driver.
Of cause I got all the hoorays and praises as the rich kid, but there is always this saying the goes, “You can bring someone from the village but can’t take the village out of that person.” I’m afraid this saying described me exactly.
This hot girl with legs that just didn’t end came to our university. Having gown up and lived in Uganda, she hardly spoke our local language. Not only was she hot but endearing and always smart in skimpy outfits. With my ‘baller’ status, I had to ask this girl on a date.
Well, she willing to go for pizza (of course she didn’t have to pay a coin). So we get there and already worry is filling my mind as I wonder how I will pay the bill. I got to take out this lady but that was before I realised there were other pressing problems.
This babe spoke fluent English and some of the words just slipped by without me hearing a word. I had to return the favour! I started using direct translation from Kinyarwanda to English.
So I started, “Is it fresh?” (ni freshi) and this girl looked at me with this look of “What the hell is this guy asking me?” I felt like this girl hadn’t felt that hot line so I went on and asked, “What is the news of the days?” (amakuru y’iminsi)
At this point this girl had realised that I was one of the village boys just pretending to be cool. I just couldn’t fit in and before the pizza came in, I rushed to the cancel the order just to save costs and forged a phone call from my mum. I ran off. When the story reached the rest of the class, I couldn’t talk or boast anymore.