A friend of mine who has divorced twice found some new love a few weeks ago, and before he could even admit that he is smitten with his new girl, he called me and relayed his fears to me. We talked for a long time, because of the fear he has after two failed marriages that ended in divorce.
My friend admitted that his two marriages were unsuccessful because he failed to know the difference between infatuation and love. I, on the other hand, told him to go slow and get to know this lady up and personal before committing himself to any serious relationship, considering the fact that he married his first wife six months after they met and the second one was less than four months.
While true and pure love between two people can develop into long term commitment, infatuation may only in very few cases lead to any commitment. True love induces a feeling of commitment towards the other person while infatuation doesn’t make one feel committed towards the opposite person.
In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that does not mean you should feel like you are losing out on being yourself. Before you two met you both had your own lives with separate families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc. and that should not change after you go into a relationship. When two people are in love they become one; but at the same time each should keep their identity. Do what interests you and do not just follow the other person blindly. You might not share the love for the same things and this will disappoint you.
Is this a person you can rely on just in case your world comes tumbling down on you? Some people stay in a relationship because it serves their purpose. When the good times are over, that will be the end of blissful love.
Love is give-and-take. If you are not in a healthy relationship, you will realise your partner is the type of person who is always on the receiving end.
If this is a person who is always asking from you and is never ready to give, then know that you are headed nowhere. And if you do, you will live miserably for the rest of your life for as long as the two of you live under one roof.
Lack of communication is the mother of all problems in a relationship. The two of you must keep your communication door open at all times in order to be in a healthy relationship. If you have any issue disturbing you, do not bottle up- and keep silent. This will only make matters worse. Make a habit of talking about everything in your relationship. The rest of will fall into place.