How Whatsapp almost got me a bride

LAST WEEK I FOUND myself at the Nyabugogo Bus park. I was there to meet someone special all the way from Kampala. She had boarded the Jaguar bus and was heading to Kigali to pay me a visit. I had exchanged a few messages on Whatsapp with her for a few weeks. We had also exchanged some nice photographs via Whatsapp.

LAST WEEK I FOUND myself at the Nyabugogo Bus park. I was there to meet someone special all the way from Kampala. She had boarded the Jaguar bus and was heading to Kigali to pay me a visit. I had exchanged a few messages on Whatsapp with her for a few weeks. We had also exchanged some nice photographs via Whatsapp.

So, Diaspoman was fast falling in love. I had finally met the girl of my dreams. The messages we were exchanging via the chat were full of romance. We continued to chat every day for about 2 weeks. As we chatted, our friendship grew from one level to another. In the heat of the moment, I found myself writing certain things to her that were not entirely true. For example, I found myself telling her that I was the chief executive officer of a company called Technologies Link Ltd. I told her that this company was created to solve all the internet problems in the country.

I told her that since ICT was at the forefront here in Rwanda, I had to participate in this noble cause. It appears that this news was so sweet for her eyes. She believed every word I wrote to her. As for me, I was just innocently telling her some few white lies in the name of promoting myself. What I did not know was that she was seriously considering a visit to me. So one day, she sent me the following message via Whatsapp: “Diaspoman, I just want to let you know that I am boarding the 9 o’clock Jaguar bus from Kampala. Will you please pick me up at the bus park? I will be dressed in a red dress.”

Okay, now things were becoming quite elephant for me. What was I going to do? Hadn’t I told her that I was a CEO of a big company here in Rwanda? Where would I borrow a car from? Anyways, I somehow managed to find a solution. So, off I drove to Nyabugogo the next day. I was dressed to kill. I waited for Jaguar to arrive. It was around 5pm in the evening. Eventually, the purple Jaguar bus pulled up at the busy Nyabugogo Bus Park. People started to disembark. I kept my eyes wide open. I was looking for any nice-looking chick dressed in red to emerge out of the bus. They continued to disembark until my eyes landed on this most beautiful lady I had ever seen.

Yes! Indeed, she was clad in a very exotic red dress. Oh, and she was so elegant! Upon seeing her, I rushed like a mad man and gave her a very heavy hug! As I started to lift her in ecstasy, I felt a serious blow crush into my abdomen. When I painfully looked up, it was a huge burly guy who had given me a Tyson-like punch. He was screaming at the top of his voice “How dare hug my wife like that? Do you want to steal her mobile phone? You lousy Nyabugogo thieves!” Oops! Apparently, I had picked on the wrong person. So, where on earth was my lady? What had happened to her? Hadn’t she told me that she would be dressed in a red dress?

Just as I was nursing my bruised abdomen, my phone rang. It was a long distance call. Yes, at last! It was my lady calling from Kampala “Honey, I missed the bus. Can you please send me money for an air ticket?” I felt like cursing her openly. But I kept my cool. So I also told her amidst my pain “Okay darling, please wait for your air ticket at the airport in one year’s time” I then hang up the phone. Since then, I have decided to be more careful when chatting via Whatsapp…

 

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