Sex! How long should you wait?

No sex before marriage???There have been many theories on when is the right time to have sex with your partner. And by the look of things, we have forgotten the teachings of our forefathers.
Doreen Umutesi
Doreen Umutesi

No sex before marriage???

There have been many theories on when is the right time to have sex with your partner. And by the look of things, we have forgotten the teachings of our forefathers.

Since time immemorial the most appropriate moment to have sex was after marriage. In primary school, while we sat and learned the reproductive system, it was emphasised that sex is only for married couples.

Gone are the days when we had interactive clubs in schools with slogans such as NBM – Not Before Marriage. These clubs always upheld the core values of being a virgin until you were married. We still have time to preach it to our children. 

First things first I would not pat my girlfriend’s back  if she came back to tell me that she had sex with  a guy on a first date just because he was sexy and the cologne he wore was luring. I don’t want to seem judgemental, but it’s not the right thing to do. The guy may even think it’s what you always do on every first date, your reputation is tarnished and he will end up running for dear life.

I recently stumbled on an article published in nataliehartford.com ‘How long should you make a guy wait? The Singles need your advice!’ The writer‘s advice to singles was to wait  and have sex at least after 4 to 8 weeks, depending on how quickly the relationship progresses. But she further stated that, “To be honest, I think the longer you wait the better.”

Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” 90 –Day- Rule, has loop holes. Waiting to surrender your ‘cookie’ from the cookie jar after 90 days as he calls it does not necessarily mean that since the man waited for that time, that he’s a great guy and you’ll be together forever.

There are some misconceptions women believe that are so outrageous. Some women think that having sex with a man is the best way to keep him and they forget that after sampling the ‘cookie’ he will move on to another cookie jar. Honestly speaking why would he even be there after he has gotten the one thing he wanted the most?

Building a lasting relationship should not entirely depend on sex; it should involve a lot of things. If a man or woman values the relationship, there are several indicators and having sex is never one of them. 

Based on the article ‘How long should you wait to have sex?’ written by Laura Jane MacBeth, according  to a new Cornell University study of almost 600 married and cohabiting couples, women who had waited more than a month to have sex with their partners were happier than those who got intimate before that.

My sincere advice is to wait for your wedding night.

 

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