Kigalians; not talkers, rather silent judges

I agree education doesn’t make one wise and common sense is not common but aren’t we supposed to be born with something similar to GPS to help us navigate through this life without looking like we are straight from a comic book?
Martin Bishop’s  Black Diary
Martin Bishop’s Black Diary

I agree education doesn’t make one wise and common sense is not common but aren’t we supposed to be born with something similar to GPS to help us navigate through this life without looking like we are straight from a comic book?

If you live anywhere near Kigali, you know how the heat is soaring, so you can imagine the shock on my face when I saw this babe casually strolling the streets of Kigali dressed in a pair thigh-high black boots,  skin tight pants and crowning it all with a heavy winter jacket, fur, hood and all.

Poor thing must have mistaken the glares for admiration. Who can blame her? Kigali is not like other African cities/towns where people give it to you straight.

People here are what I call silent judges - don’t expect a Rwandese to comment on your retarded fashion sense. Nope, they’ll just look at you with a sarcastic smile.

So, when you dress a little weird, check with your friends before you hit the streets. Personally I’ve seen countless individuals donning sunglasses indoors at social functions or night clubs. Of course the need to ask them if they are protecting their eyes from the glaring darkness crops up but like a true Rwandan… I just keep it to myself…with the infamous smile in tow.

Mid this week while male-bonding with a couple of buddies at the pool side of La Palise Hotel in Nyandungu, trying to cool off the heat of the day while gawking at chicks and commending God’s great work, one of those heart-halting things happened.

A visibly mature lady walked from the changing room and headed to the pool - I swear there isn’t a single eye that didn’t take a look. Not that we had never seen a woman in a two piece swimsuit but this one wasn’t your everyday woman – she was a true African, endowed with flesh and miles of stretch marks that looked more like railway lines!

God! Why on earth did she expose everything like that? Did she need the brutal truth that given her body, the whole bikini thing wasn’t anywhere near a good idea?

With a tummy the size of a water tank, huge sagging breasts, thighs the size of pillars of a monstrous building and other unprintable pieces, she paraded the pool without a care in the world.

The brave ones kept their eyes on her wishing she drowned and save us all the embarrassment. The polite ones bowed their heads in prayer asking the Almighty to intervene. No one has ever done a better job of embarrassing themselves. Even the infamous smile took a hike, so I guess miss elephant in a bikini is still going strong…unaware of the way she nauseates many folks.

 

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