A relationship is not a prison

Dear Its a guy thing I am 24 and I have been going out with this man for over 5 years.

Dear Its a guy thing

I am 24 and I have been going out with this man for over 5 years.

Since we were in high school basically. He is a good man but he is so boring.

I feel like he no longer loves me for me. Rather he loves the routine that makes up our lives. I have tried to spice things up but he either does not notice, or when he does, he takes offence. He keeps saying that he loves the accustomed feeling he gets in knowing that we have “grown old” together! I am so bored I am almost tempted to cheat. I don’t want that. What should I do?

G.G
Kanombe

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Dear G.G,

It is a rare relationship that begins in the teenage years and continues until the mid-twenties. So kudos to both of you for making it work for five years. You must appreciate the fact that your relationship has lasted longer than the majority of marriages in the United States. So, instead of fleeing the coupe, perhaps you should have a conversation about what you expect from him in this new phase of your relationship. He has obviously found his comfort zone; a situation that you seem to not enjoy.

If he is unable to change, it might be a good idea to move on. As we grow, the things that we want and need from our partners change. So, what was good for you three years ago is not now. Yes, you’ve been together for a while now; however, it doesn’t mean that you have to accept to be unhappy. Move on.

If you have any questions, send them to itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw

 

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