Show me sacrifice and I will show you love! There are many sayings and theories that speak of a mother’s love. It is probably the most testified love of all! The more I think about it the more I realise that a mother’s love (or a parent’s love for that matter) stands out essentially because it involves continuous and constant sacrifice.
So today I want to share my thoughts on this very subject of love between parent and child. This thing called love is perhaps the most difficult concept to define and explain. Even being universal doesn’t make it any easier to understand. But as a mother and an adult of some age, I have experienced one thing in common with all kinds of loving which I know to be true - with love and loving comes unquestionable sacrifice. Perhaps the degrees of sacrifice may vary, but where there is love there will certainly be some sacrifice. Indeed the whole concept of mother-child love is so amazingly profound because of the complete devotion and sacrifice that is displayed. A mother will break all the rules, even her own and sacrifice her needs and self all for the sake of the child.
In the bible, 11 Corinthians 13:4-7 says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Fundamentally all of the above concepts are about unconditional, selfless and sacrificial devotion. Perhaps this is too spiritual for some, and others may argue that all things spiritual are vague…
The website www.exact-psychology.com attempts to define love as an algorithm. An algorithm is a computer program. The scientists, the psychologists, state that love is a Psychological Pair-Bond Algorithm between two people that have love for each other. A Psychological Pair-Bond Algorithm is two brains that have come together to project each other in Positive Future with compatible brain truth program: This is love. The website goes as far as inserting a disclaimer that says that the “love program” lasts only until the positive truth projection for the two bonded brains can no longer be achieved. When there is a realisation or discovery of lies or deceit, or distancing, or bereavement, the bond is corrupted, and like a computer program it fails. When this happens, there is usually a falling out of friendship, or a display of hostile or negative emotion. This will be defined by the brain as a Negative Future input or a “no future” input. As rational as this definition is, it still does not account for a mothe
r’s love which is more often than not unconditional in nature.
Yet another psychology school of thought defines love as a “neural restructuring to accommodate the idea of another’s self into the idea of one’s own self. Love thus is something that can endure and unlike sexual desire cannot be satisfied or dissipated by any behavioural response. Love is not passion -- it may not even be correctly described as an emotion in the sense that an emotion is a response to a particular situation, a particular set of events.”
In my opinion, there is still no explanation broad enough to define parental love. A mother’s love is too rich a concept to define. It is a love which is radically different from any other love a human may experience.